tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46117297269067246802024-02-19T02:26:57.451-08:00Blood on Metal: Where I Talk About Horror, Heavy Metal, Pop Culture, Art, and A Bunch of Other StuffAn informative blog by the "Lord of Darkness" on subjects that most entertain him. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-75405465342768790092014-04-18T11:27:00.002-07:002014-04-18T11:27:25.413-07:00Giving the Electric Company A Hard Time
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Transcript
from a phone conversation I had with my electric company a few nights ago. I
will refer to my electric company in this transcript as “Rainbow Cowboy.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Hello, can I speak to the person who is 18 years of age or older that manages
the electric account in your home?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Speaking.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
I have here, your name is Chris Petry?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Right.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Mr. Petry I would like to ask you if you would please participate in a quality
survey on behalf of your electric company. At no point during this survey will
I attempt to sell you anything. This call may, however, be recorded for quality
and training purposes. Do you accept these conditions?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Yeah.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
So will you take a few minutes of your time to complete this survey?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Sure.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Great. Let’s get started. Each year Rainbow Cowboy sponsors a 2-day home and
garden show. Is that something you’d be interested in?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I’m not a chick or a Botanist, so no.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC
(Giggling): On a scale of 1-10 how would you rank your satisfaction with your
electricity?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
This is hard to gauge because, well, we’re talking about electricity here. Fine
I’ll give it an 8.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Are you satisfied with the quality of the electricity you’re receiving?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Yeah, I mean, sometimes I go to visit my mom or my sister and their electricity
seems to come out of the wall the exact same way. It’s amazing.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Have you suffered an outage in the last year?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Hmm… let me see. Yeah, about 8 months ago. I remember cause I was photographing
these girls and I was paying them by the hour. The lights went out and I
remember being very nervous about how long it was going to be before they came
back on because the chicks weren’t as hot as they said they were on Craigslist
and I didn’t want to pay em’ extra.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC
(In hysterical laughter): Oh, okay. We have a monthly newsletter do you ever
read it?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I read Fangoria and Hustler.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
So, never?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Nope.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you feel Rainbow Cowboy does their best to accommodate the individual needs
of their customers?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Yeah. I mean, my primary gig is taking nudies and sometimes the cash is thin,
you know? I called them once and they got me on a different payment plan option
and so, I feel they’re really customer considerate.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you sense your electric company’s presence in your community?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I never see anyone wearing t-shirts or stickers or anything but I guess they’re
around. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you think they could better contribute to community causes?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Like saving whales and stuff?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
I mean in the wake of outages, problems, or disasters.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Well, other than one outage during my boobie shoot I haven’t really had the
opportunity to see them in action.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you trust your electric company? Have they EARNED your trust?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
My family has my trust. My girlfriend. Some friends. Even my cats. But I don’t
really know my electric company on a person level.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Would you like to better know your electrical company? Have a closer
relationship?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
What, like take them on a date? No.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you feel your company is up to date on environmental issues?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
They e-mail me all the time about switching over to e-billing and saving the
environment by not killing trees but trees piss me off.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Oh, okay. Are you satisfied with the service you receive?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I feel I’ve already answered this question but yeah. I mean, electricity is
electricity right?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Are you the kind of person who waits in line for the newest innovations in
technology? Smartphones? I-pads?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I’m not a 16 year-old girl so, no. I have a job. Sir can I ask you how much
longer this survey is going to last?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
We’re nearing the end now.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Good cause my wife just grabbed my crotch. I think she’s horny so… I’m hoping
to get lucky tonight.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC
(Laughing): Oh, I’ll see what I can do to get you through this thing.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Thank you. Continue.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Does Rainbow Cowboy do a good job in alerting you to power outages?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
No.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Explain please.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Well, I have no power so I can’t go online or turn on the TV to see if there’s
an outage or not.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Oh, I see. How do you know when there’s an outage?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
It gets really dark. And sometimes I open my apartment door, look down the hall
and nobody else has lights either.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
I mean, do they e-mail or call?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
They have how many customers and they’re going to call all of us? Plus the
power would already be off by the time we thought to check for outages via
phone. Then we wouldn’t need to check for outages because it would be dark.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
I see. Do they do a good job at restoring power?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I don’t really know what they do. I know one minute it’s dark and the next
minute it’s not. Honestly I just thought I was going blind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Are you Hispanic, Asian, Pacific Islander, or Arabic?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
I’m Anglo Saxon. British.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Are you white?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
That’s what I just said. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Do you know what a meter reader is?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Back when I lived home in West Virginia we had this thing in our backyard and
occasionally this guy would come to look at it and he pissed off the dog a lot.
That’s all I know. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Have you heard of digital readers?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
Wait, are they meters that are also digital?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
If I were to say, “digital meters allow the light company to better serve you
and lower rates,” how high would you rate the believability on a scale of 1-10.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
Me: Is “full of crap” a 1?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">EC:
Well, thank you for your time sir. I hope you get lucky.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me:
You too, have a good one.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-75133195158881676922014-01-24T08:02:00.000-08:002014-01-24T08:03:37.955-08:00DAVID BOWIE!!!<style>
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</span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The following is really
just a love letter to one of my all time favorite artists and performers, David
Bowie. I<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>m a metal head. I routinely listen to Alice Cooper,
Black Sabbath, Saxon, Motorhead, Mercyful Fate, Celtic Frost, Dio, Saint Vitus,
Candlemass, Slayer, Marilyn Manson, Deep Purple, Venom, Death<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">…</span>
but if there<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s one guy who rocks my head
without the aid of corpse paint, blast beats, thrash riffs, or heavy distortion
it<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s got to be David Bowie. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s
not for everybody. I get that. Hell, he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s so over the map
musically that it<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s perfectly reasonable to love 1
thing he does and think the very next thing he does is the worst thing you<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>ve
ever heard. Me, I evaluate each piece of work he produces for what it is. There
really is no other way to process Bowie, because as I mentioned a few lines
back, he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s everywhere musically. His early work is somewhat
reflective of the British Invasion rock popularized by the Beatles, The Rolling
Stones, and The Who. Then there<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s <i>The Man Who Sold the World</i>, which was his statement on early heavy
metal. It<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s a delicious mixture of Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin,
and Hawkwind. The follow up, <i>Hunky Dory</i>
is a blend of folk, rock, and pop. Then there<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s <i>The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spider</i><i><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s from Mars</i>, a
classic glam rock record that laid the path for Twisted Sister, Motley Crue,
Poison, and Cinderella. Through the years he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s changed sounds many
times. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s been rock, metal, folk, blues, soul, glam rock, art
rock, dance pop, electronica, industrial, heavy metal, jazz, trip-hop, ambient,
experimental, pop, and progressive rock. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Each album, apart from
having different musical styles, was an aesthetic reinvention for the artist.
Bowie always changed his face and clothing to reflect the mood of the record he
was supporting. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s at times been rather plain
looking with a suit and tie. Other times he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s played up the
gothic/alternative/industrial type appearance. During most of the 70s he
featured strange brightly colored hairdos, bushy inconvenient shoulder pieces,
striped frayed pants, albino white skin, oddly colored eye contacts, glitter,
and blush. Essentially, he was Lady Gaga years before her mom and dad combined
DNA. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Today I have posted
pictures of Mr. Bowie throughout the years. Just scroll through these images
and you will see a human being (an artist) evolve before your eyes. If you<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>re
a fan of his music it should be an even greater pleasure. Then I have posted
samples of different eras of his work musically. If you haven<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>t
explored his back catalogue and its barrage of different sounds, then let this
be an introductory course to one of the world<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s greatest musicians. One
of the few people who have truly inspired me and my work. One of the few
peoples whose voice and reason has kept me from committing suicide via chainsaw
in my darkest hours. Ladies and gentleman, Mr. David Bowie. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj540JDf2URBPMEa7Am97c70gDOmCg1bgv3PqS5Yo2J0xLFM_YZzxfDlPogCKoniKq3xfzTNyGzCFDK5OhS-1Fawradsxlk-fAnGODVgq-DBACYUN-OtsWWuHEuIrZemRE9AayuF0NVj0g/s1600/1967.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj540JDf2URBPMEa7Am97c70gDOmCg1bgv3PqS5Yo2J0xLFM_YZzxfDlPogCKoniKq3xfzTNyGzCFDK5OhS-1Fawradsxlk-fAnGODVgq-DBACYUN-OtsWWuHEuIrZemRE9AayuF0NVj0g/s1600/1967.jpg" height="320" width="219" /></a></div>
David in 1967 (Age 20)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiK5gZhwacM6Ot3QGAFUbOAHlUgc1q87D33wV4HyQHQ4QauFTXS7QixcUbxq2KZhFcgUGc_5U2Zgx2l-pm8HBNhJ_IjbyjMShvqKlMBcMWqQLMn26VhQWkQjYrBje-vyUtz9-BWVqraVg/s1600/1969.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiK5gZhwacM6Ot3QGAFUbOAHlUgc1q87D33wV4HyQHQ4QauFTXS7QixcUbxq2KZhFcgUGc_5U2Zgx2l-pm8HBNhJ_IjbyjMShvqKlMBcMWqQLMn26VhQWkQjYrBje-vyUtz9-BWVqraVg/s1600/1969.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a></div>
David in 1969 (Age 22)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheRjA6vbLuS_d4mWTUrN-GjpL2tLnXlXFjsOYc4inqCeoD_sRfE-kqSB1AMpQOpAM2cRRWI3BRPnfrtjTtH3Lftqg47w5joD5dTEPTbB4pwdJrHUlj3ZCW17e_lBUt64EcUXzOubhe1CM/s1600/1972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheRjA6vbLuS_d4mWTUrN-GjpL2tLnXlXFjsOYc4inqCeoD_sRfE-kqSB1AMpQOpAM2cRRWI3BRPnfrtjTtH3Lftqg47w5joD5dTEPTbB4pwdJrHUlj3ZCW17e_lBUt64EcUXzOubhe1CM/s1600/1972.jpg" height="320" width="266" /></a></div>
David in 1972 (Age 25)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinNzitmO3aDVeFE2PD2sbBnjARj6CoZEppjr9a1-uWVWkCF1gpYh41LOMZ43KOLNKhLa1sLxMluF4rW_Sx9d3RhESxjoJzp1fpzpqH0JKy050RGtp7BreDMHhyphenhyphenXgnrFN3ThMeUni0nOW8/s1600/1974.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinNzitmO3aDVeFE2PD2sbBnjARj6CoZEppjr9a1-uWVWkCF1gpYh41LOMZ43KOLNKhLa1sLxMluF4rW_Sx9d3RhESxjoJzp1fpzpqH0JKy050RGtp7BreDMHhyphenhyphenXgnrFN3ThMeUni0nOW8/s1600/1974.png" height="320" width="318" /></a></div>
David in 1974 (Age 27)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMFztGvuzaTjiXF2zv8XcW_eEFUfi2IYXOWAL9BWj3pDqhAbazVr-k62oPoLQZ8UF94y-Ts41O17uPDRMgGf38YBy0fDrq4UVrJKQIT_AJiY8v4qyU9LTtMnr3Yxv9o2kJwR9qD3rhaV4/s1600/1976.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMFztGvuzaTjiXF2zv8XcW_eEFUfi2IYXOWAL9BWj3pDqhAbazVr-k62oPoLQZ8UF94y-Ts41O17uPDRMgGf38YBy0fDrq4UVrJKQIT_AJiY8v4qyU9LTtMnr3Yxv9o2kJwR9qD3rhaV4/s1600/1976.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
David in 1975 (Age 28)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpZMY8YDnPwEBmy2u32sCHh_8O3jZWEthgJf56dU3LWBy43WD8Le-5U5tSqllYDLLzFoN6vyJ_pqefPzOnfZpdQm_FSx0hp94vy3ES5gxyiVeflcqM8psycnaGNdu8h2czPJzlU93Ud4/s1600/1977.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpZMY8YDnPwEBmy2u32sCHh_8O3jZWEthgJf56dU3LWBy43WD8Le-5U5tSqllYDLLzFoN6vyJ_pqefPzOnfZpdQm_FSx0hp94vy3ES5gxyiVeflcqM8psycnaGNdu8h2czPJzlU93Ud4/s1600/1977.jpg" height="320" width="278" /></a></div>
David in 1977 (Age 30)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tY94UnhKb1y5hN84Eckvtbf1K1fQ0W8wBeiY9uw5oV3gzszgRlYG00eUSnyxUlQh2WBWPRhy7sUjp7PgFGk2E48wFAr5cxrCK8FmIWXYjsRBnA9BIE25BcPGtJ5HW-CPzxrp5cWxQ_E/s1600/1980.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tY94UnhKb1y5hN84Eckvtbf1K1fQ0W8wBeiY9uw5oV3gzszgRlYG00eUSnyxUlQh2WBWPRhy7sUjp7PgFGk2E48wFAr5cxrCK8FmIWXYjsRBnA9BIE25BcPGtJ5HW-CPzxrp5cWxQ_E/s1600/1980.jpg" height="209" width="320" /></a></div>
David in 1980 (Age 33)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotaFqdDjeBonibxvyWs3EUO02mkTg3LaZqdlifVT94Ly58i88lWTzCLUrXhnvJeVJeFeTcyiaDcQ1Oee02_dd0eayCbPddWF3R_wf5OlcYnik-hGQi3QEeEpqw7i5UQixicRUR-LnRQQ/s1600/1982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotaFqdDjeBonibxvyWs3EUO02mkTg3LaZqdlifVT94Ly58i88lWTzCLUrXhnvJeVJeFeTcyiaDcQ1Oee02_dd0eayCbPddWF3R_wf5OlcYnik-hGQi3QEeEpqw7i5UQixicRUR-LnRQQ/s1600/1982.jpg" /></a></div>
David in 1982 (Age 35)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tUFm2I7WDc-3nlVZ3rejSPsmXHYyptjOFFgumrL__S4ltNc28Pqb-ktGj6fsyUV2b2AtXxrFlpWb6Ff9opUB7H77MLQfO651xTiK03lyg-sZ-LASW2Ai_3q9YUAThxPj-_t2YCoVbXs/s1600/1987.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tUFm2I7WDc-3nlVZ3rejSPsmXHYyptjOFFgumrL__S4ltNc28Pqb-ktGj6fsyUV2b2AtXxrFlpWb6Ff9opUB7H77MLQfO651xTiK03lyg-sZ-LASW2Ai_3q9YUAThxPj-_t2YCoVbXs/s1600/1987.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
David in 1987 (Age 40)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhumBK0tCgNhIjPw1hX1hUf3_1FRpz1Z7dWo9mwRJajLxcqNkDTVn1YbqEhFWDWBqlS2WnfNgwH6kuekhqb2bzV2Bv7NGnVYN_KrK1MgF9OOUDJV2LYywQcQ2z9JgQdz1dUJJeDgtniwV8/s1600/1992.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhumBK0tCgNhIjPw1hX1hUf3_1FRpz1Z7dWo9mwRJajLxcqNkDTVn1YbqEhFWDWBqlS2WnfNgwH6kuekhqb2bzV2Bv7NGnVYN_KrK1MgF9OOUDJV2LYywQcQ2z9JgQdz1dUJJeDgtniwV8/s1600/1992.jpg" height="291" width="320" /></a></div>
David in 1992 (Age 45)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-6yw7FUjDWLkyIOEwspPR4GXh9HAGqXNJ_JncYcyBrhgMWyN0hrdlcq64S8AprDRmx8mrX89UOEf8u0jCm1WYVuMB8aK2ZZOTCDngk_fgwGLzWRIuYr-vSRkCwWFUqR-0pUdTGar6Ih4/s1600/1995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-6yw7FUjDWLkyIOEwspPR4GXh9HAGqXNJ_JncYcyBrhgMWyN0hrdlcq64S8AprDRmx8mrX89UOEf8u0jCm1WYVuMB8aK2ZZOTCDngk_fgwGLzWRIuYr-vSRkCwWFUqR-0pUdTGar6Ih4/s1600/1995.jpg" /></a></div>
David in 1995 (Age 48)<br />
<br />
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VhnKpFYjYVcLC0LQW4V_UE88Mx-hBYg5qZKvbAz7DMppnFame3d4y6XazxKu9TJ8ID5z6MYZW5MZ2lss4f3fLoSTREvRP7ktXsFBjsIHZD-_HtYXYI2Wh4Rn45LHm4mYj5S-JJ8gRCI/s1600/2000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VhnKpFYjYVcLC0LQW4V_UE88Mx-hBYg5qZKvbAz7DMppnFame3d4y6XazxKu9TJ8ID5z6MYZW5MZ2lss4f3fLoSTREvRP7ktXsFBjsIHZD-_HtYXYI2Wh4Rn45LHm4mYj5S-JJ8gRCI/s1600/2000.jpg" height="320" width="217" /></a></div>
David in 2000 (Age 53)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpvlYkVFjGe8JOOrNV2jV1gKwAJeyyGZxJIhwGQStLSw6QhyphenhyphenNrlu5TVPQRJz0NF3lw_Atmp_aYwFLKgIMgsESW97JUJtjXSz1jZnSHEG9Ta7c0_XDgzOZ_B_FbGbF1cDy0CFwXDqx12M/s1600/2004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpvlYkVFjGe8JOOrNV2jV1gKwAJeyyGZxJIhwGQStLSw6QhyphenhyphenNrlu5TVPQRJz0NF3lw_Atmp_aYwFLKgIMgsESW97JUJtjXSz1jZnSHEG9Ta7c0_XDgzOZ_B_FbGbF1cDy0CFwXDqx12M/s1600/2004.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
David in 2004 (Age 57)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDU8KiCifoFFLveXSlo4iNswQqmXf8Vqb500ZaAH0pOivba6nmIPK2gXuvW9NsluxPBnrTzciTdq1rCpn4neuEKidYEMmCPr81uPU1FIvz-FSc035H8vT_PH6S_Bvbc4gkJPJwwCIRibQ/s1600/2007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDU8KiCifoFFLveXSlo4iNswQqmXf8Vqb500ZaAH0pOivba6nmIPK2gXuvW9NsluxPBnrTzciTdq1rCpn4neuEKidYEMmCPr81uPU1FIvz-FSc035H8vT_PH6S_Bvbc4gkJPJwwCIRibQ/s1600/2007.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
David in 2007 (Age 60)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_1BftuHuwZ3BqrJ4AJsW7z4k1GIOy-aHJl-Si6ksv3eHxDkTHbp8YLDVbA5l3uHE-aVVayIA9Uvpqqr-23pZhtx0KiTLJLsOBD2zlb8qXPI87N1Hk25SFuZ_zzLpNmRjwzsrBQn2Fvo/s1600/2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_1BftuHuwZ3BqrJ4AJsW7z4k1GIOy-aHJl-Si6ksv3eHxDkTHbp8YLDVbA5l3uHE-aVVayIA9Uvpqqr-23pZhtx0KiTLJLsOBD2zlb8qXPI87N1Hk25SFuZ_zzLpNmRjwzsrBQn2Fvo/s1600/2013.jpg" height="207" width="320" /></a></div>
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David in 2013 (Age 66)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The Tunes:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141651"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JIiMJBqDNY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JIiMJBqDNY</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141653"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKE3FSPJu-4">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKE3FSPJu-4</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7LRPCksFzM</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v--IqqusnNQ</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXq5VvYAI1Q</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkEvAvIGK-w</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUflIrTSwK8</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScVi_L817ec</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY77zDzNmYw</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgcc5V9Hu3g</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2vEtfyveeY</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpdHMaccjw4</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMhMaNAmT-U</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avJt0SQec0I</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1592141655">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlvJ4aQ6A7U</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-54233996180954959012014-01-11T13:49:00.002-08:002014-01-11T13:49:23.714-08:00I Am a Vampire<span style="font-size: large;">It's been talked about to death so I won't even waste your time arguing the point but one must admit, today's vampires are too slick, too young, and too clean. Some have even claimed the Twilight books and films are one big chastity belt in print. At least the first couple. Vampires spend their time trying not to bite people. They find non-human substitutes and mope around shirtless crying about their cursed existence. Well to hell with that! Vampires are supposed to be sleazy, spell-binding, and assertive in their pursuit of the sweet red stuff. So I wrote this quick poem/song emphasizing the perversion, and delight in said perversion, that's missing from these modern vampire soap operas. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I Am a Vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You’ve had a taste of
evil</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I lay ruin to your body
and soul</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I’ve a had little taste
of your blood</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And now I’m out of
control</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">One more minute in
flesh called heaven</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Is worth an eternity in
hell</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You’ll feel my bite,
some random night</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">When my eyes take you
under my spell</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s sanguination,
you’ve never felt</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Such sensation, from
all the blood I’ve spilt</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now don’t keep me
waiting</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Keep your window
cracked</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This hunger’s elating</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And I’ll be coming
back, again, again, and again</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">To taste your milky skin</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Outside of space and
time</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Of bleeding heart and
mind</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, I’m a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I see you licking</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">A drop of blood from
your lips</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Give me a taste</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Just a bit from your
finger tips</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And Let it drip</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Let it drop into your
lap</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I’ll find it there</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cause the blood is my X
and your eyes are my map</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Outside of space of
time</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Of bleeding heart and
mind</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire, oh yeah</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire, oh, oh
yeah</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, don’t keep me
waiting</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t keep me waiting</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t keep me waiting
no more</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a vampire</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-9066079972558334242014-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:002014-01-10T06:15:43.958-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">A Day in the Life of a Man Who Sucked At Everything<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ben Blows was the worst
man to have ever lived and the worst man to have ever died<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He was awful at
everything and failed at anything he ever tried<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He tried to paint but
all he ever made were sloppy strokes<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He tried to make people
laugh but fell flat on his face with humorless jokes<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He was a living wreck,
as tedious and useless as can be<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Pallid and dull, a
total pity, his very existence was that of misery<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Even his surname was
horrid<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“Blows” it was<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And it was nothing but
a point of ridicule<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But accurate enough<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He tried to shake it,
pronounce it a different way<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But his actions only
helped the unconventional name to stay<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">As a little boy, Ben
tried to fit in with his classmates but never could<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">They found him
laughable and as interesting as a block of wood<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He was no athlete; he
couldn’t hit a ball if he tried<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Always the last pick
for the teams, team captains accepted him with terrible sighs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He thought with some
time he’d learn to draw<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But his pictures were
messes on paper, as exciting as a clean white wall<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">When he hit his teens
he tried to start a band<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But he was no
left-handed Jim Hendrix, he couldn’t play guitar with either hand<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So he tried to sing, he
reached for the highs and growled in his lows<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Freddie Mercury he was
not and on any stage he froze<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He couldn’t play the
bass; those 4 strings were just too tough<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And on drums he pounded
and pounded but just couldn’t keep up<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He tried to be an actor
but he was awfully reviewed<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So he tried his hand as
a writer<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But to the page could
keep no one glued<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Last he tried to
direct, but he was just no good<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">His work had made an
Orson Welles out of even Ed Wood<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">With art a lost cause
he tried to run a shop<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But he was no more
qualified to helm a business than he was to hold a mop<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The business failed and
he lost all his cash<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He couldn’t manage his money;
he couldn’t even take out the trash<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Business down the drain
he turned to construction<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But he bent every nail
and caused only destruction<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Next he tried to sell
things but he was no Billy Mays<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He never managed to
sell one product in 30 whole days<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Down
on his luck and feeling quite bad<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ben
contemplated his life and ever experience he had ever had<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
realized that in 20 some years he’d never done anything right<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Though
he worked so, so hard and tried with all his might<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
read all the right books, got the best of educations<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And
watched all his peers honored with standing ovations<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">When
will it be my time, he cried<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">When
will I find my place?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
looked deep in the mirror and reflected<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“I don’t
even have a pleasant face”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ben
counted his savings and bought a gun<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
put it under his chin and whimpered, “goodbye life, it’s not been fun.”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Then
it hit him, this was his call<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
dropped the gun and stood proud and tall<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m
the worst man that ever lived,” he shouted<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“No
one’s worse than me and if they say they are, why I severely doubt it!”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“I’ve
tried it all and I’m total shit”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“This
shall be my legacy, my great claim to fame”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“With
my awful face and my awful brain, the world will have no choice but to know my
awful name!”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He
started a website, “worstmanalive.com”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; tab-stops: 269.4pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Put
his face on t-shirts and magnets from New York to Vietnam<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">With a little help, he
wrote a book about how much he sucked<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sold well over a
million copies about how much he had failed<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And soon a sequel about
how in the face of nothing he had prevailed<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ben was on the up and
up, he had it all<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Women, money, his
likeness on a best-selling doll<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ben took pleasure in
being a loser and now knew the joy it could bring<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>He sat back and smiled,
a day in the life of a man who sucked at everything</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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-Chris Petry</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-51918293954010989422014-01-09T12:50:00.002-08:002014-01-09T12:51:40.233-08:00The Killer Must Be Killed Again<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Killer Must Be Killed Again</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Don't you know they never die?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">You can try, and try, and try</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">But you will never win my friend</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The killer must be killed again!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Lots of bodies at the lake</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A million bodies in your dreams</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Some on hooks down Texas way</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />Halloween suburban streets<br /><br />Look out lady!<br />A killer's knife<br />Masked and mad, he'll take your life!<br />The killer smiles, an evil grin<br />Tomorrow rise<br />The killer must be killed again<br /><br />Just when you think your safe<br />And the daylight comes<br />Just remember no matter how fast you are<br />You'll always be outrun<br /><br />Don't you know evil never dies?<br />Take a good long look in the blackness<br />The devil's eyes<br />Their madness transcends the flesh its in<br />Close your eyes and count to ten<br />When you look, he'll begin<br />The killer must kill again</span></b><br />
<b><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">- Chris Petry</span></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-1667162897723333642013-07-16T12:54:00.002-07:002013-07-16T12:58:17.345-07:00An Expendables with horror stars?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">A
while back I came across an article where Bruce Campbell had revealed in an
interview for something to do with the <i>Evil Dead</i> remake, that he was working on
developing a horror version of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Expendables</i>. I thought, <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>Hey, that could be pretty
cool. Instead of rounding up all the big action stars of the 70s, 80s, and 90s, why
not round up all the cinematic madmen of the same period and let them wreak havoc
with and against one another for our delight?<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span> Then I kind of forgot
all about it for months. That all changed when I saw a Q&A with Kane <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>Jason
Voorhees<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span> Hodder in which he confirmed the internet rumblings
that Bruce was, indeed, still very much at work on making the movie a reality.
Suddenly my head began to spin. I mean, what would this movie be? I doubt these
guys would be reprising their most famous roles because the characters all
belong to different studios and at least a few of them have been sadly replaced in
remakes of their original classic at this point. So it would have to be an
original story but how do we get them to commit violence against one another?
Cause let<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s be honest, no one would go see a movie like this if it
didn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>t involve massive amounts of carnage. It would certainly
have to overtake the level of bloodshed seen in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Expendables</i>. The more I think about it, there are so many
scenarios in which we could get these famous axe-men hacking each other to
bits. I just hope it<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s not tongue-in-cheek. There can
be a little humor, sure. But it<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s got to have guts, literally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Just
who would be featured in an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Expendables</i>
type horror flick? Well, obviously Kane Hodder is involved. Why wouldn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>t
he be? The guy is the only person to ever play Jason Voorhees (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Friday the 13<sup>th</sup></i>) more than
once, at a total of 4 times. He would<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>ve done it again had he
been asked. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s also Victor Crowley in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hatchet</i> series and can be seen in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Prison, Project Metalbeast, Wishmaster, </i>and<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Ed Gein: Butcher of Plainfield.</i> Bruce
has also mentioned Mr. Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund. Is there anyone
more synonymous with one character in modern horror than Robert Englund? He
played Freddy Krueger in 8 feature films and a 50+ episode TV series.
Plus he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s known for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">V,
Eaten Alive, 2001 Maniacs, Night Terrors, The Phantom of the Opera </i>(1989), <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Mangler, </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Zombie Strippers. </i>But who else could be involved in a big horror
icon mash em<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span> up? Check out my potential list
below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bruce Campbell- Obvious I know. But besides
writing and directing this thing, he has to be in front of the camera too. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
Ash of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Evil Dead</i>! Also, he can be
seen in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Maniac</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cop, Bubba Ho-Tep, Moon Trap, Mindwarp</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Doug Bradley- A classy English gentleman most
probably wouldn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>t recognize without 144
strategically planted nails in his cranium. Yep, Pinhead of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hellraiser </i>fame. Let<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
not forget <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nightbreed, Killer Tongue,
Book of Blood, Pumpkin Head: Ashes to Ashes</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Cottage</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Jeffrey Combs- Jeff is most known for playing Herbert
West in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Re-Animator</i> films. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
also played Poe in a successful theatre production and Stuart Gordon<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Masters of</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Horror</i> segment, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Black Cat</i>.
Not to mention <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">From Beyond, The
Frighteners</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Abominable, Fear.Com,
Necronomicon: Book of the Dead, I Still Know What You Last Summer</i> Did and
his voice role as The Scarecrow in the revamped <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Batman The Animated Series</i>, also known as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The New Batman Adventures</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Tony Todd- Most known for his role as the
hook-wielding evil of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Candyman</i>, Tony<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
been in a whole mess of genre films. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Night
of the Living Dead</i> (1990), <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Voodoo
Dawn</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Final Destination, The Crow,
Wishmaster, Murder-Set-Pieces</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Shadow:
Dead Riot</i> to name a few. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Angus Scrimm- One of the eldest contenders at age
87, Angus is best known as The Tall Man, evil mortician/graverobber of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Phantasm</i> series. Angus has also appeared
in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sell the Dead, Incident On and Off a Mountain Road, Satan Hates You,
Subspecies</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mindwarp, Chopping Mall</i>,
and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scream Bloody Murder</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Brad Dourif- Most recognizable as the voice of
Chucky the killer doll in the popular <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Child</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Play</i> movies, Brad
has also been in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">One Flew Over the Cuckoo</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Nest, Rob</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Zombie</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Halloween, Dune, Alien: Resurrection, Death Machine,
Trauma, Graveyard Shift</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Exorcist III</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sid Haig- Sid is one of those guys that<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
been everywhere. Beach movie to Batman, James Bond to Women's
Prison flicks. But he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s probably best known for his
roles as Ralph in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Spider Baby</i> and 40
years later, Captain Spaulding in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">House
of 1,000 Corpses</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Devil</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Rejects</i>. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
also in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">THX 1138, Galaxy of Terror, Blood
Bath</i>, <i>B</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rotherhood of Blood</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Creature</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bill Moseley- Bill will forever be asked to shout
out, <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>Lick my plate, you dogs dicks,<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span>
at horror conventions everywhere. The phrase was first uttered by Bill, in
character, as Choptop in <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II</i>. Bill<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
also been in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crash and Burn</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Silent Night Deadly Night III: Better Watch
Out, The Convent, Thr3e, House of 1,000</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Corpses,
The Devil</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
Rejects, Repo! The Genetic Opera</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Alphabet Killer.</i></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Tobin Bell- Tobin was never really a horror fan.
His closest brush with the genre was on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
X-Files</i>. Then he played the Jigsaw Killer in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Saw </i>and his career became a little redder. He played Jigsaw in 6
sequels and also took on roles in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Buried
Alive, Decoys 3</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Boogeyman 3</i>.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Gunnar Hansen- The first man to wear the dead skin
mask as Leatherface in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre</i>, Gunnar hasn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>t been extremely active in
movies. In fact, he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s always been more interested in
writing. But to this day he loves recalling stories from the set of Tobe Hooper<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
original <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Chainsaw</i>. Appropriately
enough, whenever he returns to the silver screen, he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
more often than not, involved with chainsawing something. Check him out in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Chainsaw Hookers, Mosquito, Reykjavik Whale
Watching Massacre, Chainsaw Sally, Demon Lover, </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Campfire Tales. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Christopher Lee- The Eldest possible cast member,
Christopher Lee just celebrated his 91<sup>st</sup> birthday. It<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
been a long and prolific career, one that continues to this day. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>ll
always be remembered as the Count himself in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Horror of Dracula</i> but he<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s got more genre credits
to his name than most anyone in the history of cinema. Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Wicker Man, The City of the Dead,
Howling II: Your Sister</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
A Werewolf, The Mummy </i>(1959), <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Castle
of the Living Dead, The Devil Rides Out, The Whip and the Body, The</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Satanic Rites of Dracula, The Gorgon, She,
The Face of Fu Manchu, Curse of the Crimson Altar</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sleepy Hollow</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Michael Berryman- Michael is, without a doubt, the
face of Wes Craven<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s classic <i>The Hills Have Eyes</i>. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
also graced the horror world with appearances in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Teenage Exorcist, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, The Devil</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Rejects, Smash Cut, Cut
and Run, One Flew Over the Cuckoo</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
Nest</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Deadly Blessing</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ken Foree- Famous for the role of Peter in the
original <i>Dawn of the Dead</i>, the physically imposing yet personable Ken Foree has also appeared in
<i>From Beyond, Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part III, The Devil<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
Rejects, Phantom of the Mall: Eric<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Revenge, Death Spa</i>, and
<i>Brotherhood of Blood</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Udo Kier- He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>ll always be known for
proclaiming, <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>Ze blood of these whores is
killing me,<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span> in Paul Morissey<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s classic, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Blood of Dracula</i>. He<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s
also been in <i>Flesh for Frankenstein, The Story of O, Suspiria, Shadow of the
Vampire, Island of the Bloody Plantation, Spermula</i>, and <i>Mark of the Devil</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">So, what do we think?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-28219815775406051982013-05-07T11:15:00.001-07:002013-05-07T11:15:41.555-07:00Famous Actors in Cult Movies<span style="font-size: large;">It's no secret that many famous actors and actresses out there today weren't always at the top of their profession. No, just like all mortals, they had to climb the metaphorical ladder from minimum wage hell to Beverly Hills mansion paradise. They cut their teeth on the stage and in little "blink you'll miss em'" parts that have long been forgotten by most. Well, not by me. I'm here to embarrass these A-list hotheads! Just joking. I have nothing but respect for anyone who has beat the odds to become one of the best at what they do. Many of these actors and actresses look back fondly on their experience as a supporting character in some little horror or exploitation gem while also thanking whomever their god may be for no longer having to borrow their parents' money and scrub floors to pay the rent. Some of these big A-list types have done their best to conceal the fact they were murdered by a monster in a horror film. That's their right too. Regardless, I'm going to out them all!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Kevin Bacon- Kevin had a very small part in <i>Animal House</i> but it was <i>Friday the 13th</i> that really broke him big. Yep, Kevin was killed by Jason's momma. Minutes after having sex and cracking open a beer. For most men, is there a better way to go? I'll skip the beer but the first part doesn't sound too bad. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">John Travolta- John had a couple small bits on some popular TV shows of the early 1970s but it was 1975's <i>The Devil's Rain</i>, with William Shatner and Ernest Borgnine that got him up on the silver screen. Though he had a very tiny part as a random Satanist in <i>The Devil's Rain</i>, he would finally start getting some attention in his next picture, <i>Carrie</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Marisa Tomei- Marisa is one of those actresses I was talking about that would rather you not know where she started. I don't know why because it's in one of my favorite films. Check her out as a random health club chick in <i>The Toxic Avenger</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Brad Pitt- Having featured in a few walk-on roles and a couple small spots on television, Brad Pitt was ready to hit the big time. After appearing in <i>Cutting Class</i>, one of many enjoyable 80s teen slashers, his career seemed to take off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Kevin Costner- It wasn't a horror movie but it is a cult classic. Kevin Costner's first movie is none other than a Troma team production, <i>Sizzle Beach U.S.A. </i>Troma, for the uninformed amongst you, is perhaps the longest running independent film studio in the country, famous for such classics as <i>The Toxic Avenger</i>, <i>Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD</i>, <i>Class of Nuke Em' High</i>, and <i>Tromeo and Juliet</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Billy Bob Thorton- Billy Bob actually played a character called Billy Bob in the deliverance clone <i>Hunter's Blood</i>. He was also featured in a Troma production (seems to be a theme here) called <i>Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Jack Nicholson- Look for ol' Jack as a dental patient who seems to enjoy having his teeth drilled in Roger Corman's classic <i>The Little Shop of Horrors</i>, from 1960. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Crispin Glover- Most famous for his role as Marty Mcfly's father in <i>Back to the Future</i>, Crispin first took a corkscrew to the hand and a cleaver to the face from Jason Voorhees in <i>Friday the 13th The Final Chapter.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Corey Feldman- Feldman also got his start in <i>Friday the 13th The Final Chapter</i>, only he killed Jason. The next year he starred in <i>The Gooneys</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Johnny Depp- Johnny was eaten by his bed? Yeah, in <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street</i>. The 50 year old actor, famous for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in <i>The Pirates of the Carribean</i> series, was once the victim of Freddy Krueger. Soon after, he was cast on <i>21 Jump Street</i> and the rest is history.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Clint Eastwood- Clint's first appearance was in Jack Arnold's <i>Tarantula</i>. He played a fighter pilot in the film's climax. He had a slightly larger role in Arnold's <i>Revenge of the Creature from the Black Lagoon</i> before becoming "the man with no name" in Sergio Leone's famous spaghetti western trilogy and as a reoccurring character on TV's <i>Gunsmoke</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now for some "Bet you didn't know these people have been in cult movies!" This list is slightly different because it features actors and actresses who appeared in well known cult pictures but are not known for being cult film actors. Also, they already had careers before appearing in the cult films.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dennis Hopper- Dennis has appeared in a number of off the wall films that one might consider to be cult classics, despite his mainstream appeal and success. He played a young sailor infatuated with a possibly murderous mermaid in <i>Night Tide</i>, a deranged rapist kidnapper in David Lynch's classic <i>Blue Velvet</i>, and as Lefty, a cowboy man of justice hunting down Leatherface and his family in <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Samuel L. Jackson- Sam had done a number of bit parts and a good bit of TV before he did <i>Def by Temptation</i>, the tale of a murderous succubus, for Troma. Of course, he really wouldn't break through until being featured in Quentin Tarantino's <i>Pulp Fiction</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Leslie Nielson- Famous for his comedy roles, Nielson appeared very early in his career in the Science Fiction classic <i>Forbidden Planet. </i>However, his most surprising ventures into the world of horror would have to be the original <i>Prom Night</i> and <i>Repossessed</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We actually had a second life through horror! Actors who got bigger because of their horror roles.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Tobin Bell- Most famous as the Jigsaw Killer in the wildly popular <i>Saw</i> series, Tobin had been in movies and television for years but never really made it to household name. Now, after being the face of a hugely successful horror franchise, he never has to worry about not being recognized again!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Sid Haig- Sid of course, got his start in Jack Hill's <i>Spider Baby</i> and was featured for years in bit parts as heavies, henchmen, and killers in major motion pictures. He also starred alongside Pam Grier on a number of occasions. However he grew tired of his typecasting as a thug and decided to give up on acting altogether if he couldn't get a chance to show his range. At the age of 64 he finally got his chance. Rob Zombie cast him as Captain Spaulding in <i>House of 1,000 Corpses</i>. Since then Sid has enjoyed a more fulfilling career with bigger parts and the ability to act outside of the box he once found himself trapped in. He seems to be a happy guy at age 73!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Robert Englund- Robert Englund had appeared in several movies, some with well known actors and actresses. He had done TV and was somewhat recognized for his role as Willy in <i>V</i>. However it wasn't until Wes Craven had him put on a glove with 4 razor sharp claws that he became a household name. Yep, the man behind Freddy Krueger!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Boris Karloff- The man most famous for playing the Monster in the 1932 Universal Horror classic, <i>Frankenstein, </i>had appeared in maybe 100 films before <i>Frankenstein</i>. He was always cast as an extra, walk-on, non-speaking, or "dead in the first five minutes" role and never got the chance to show his acting chops. All that changed with <i>Frankenstein</i>. Until his death in 1969, age 81, he was a world-renowned face of horror. When he wasn't stabbing someone, resurrecting the dead, playing the dead, dabbling in black magic, or having his face surgically altered in various fright films, he also did voice over work. His most famous performance being the narrator in the original animated <i>The Grinch Who Stole Christmas</i>. </span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-11765760153268608312013-04-17T19:57:00.000-07:002013-04-18T08:56:37.931-07:00The Worst Band Names Ever?<span style="font-size: large;">Today on the way to work, for some weird reason, I wanted to listen to Def Leppard's <i>High N' Dry </i>album. Listen to me, "for some weird reason." There's no weird reason, that album kicks ass. We're talking the pinnacle of early 80s pop metal with infectious melodies and air-guitar-worthy riffs a plenty. It's common knowledge that after <i>High N' Dry</i>, Def Leppard really embraced the pop and ditched much of the metal but even with records like <i>Pyromania</i> and <i>Hysteria</i> they managed to keep the hooks a coming and the heads a banging. Too bad they totally fell off after that. I mean, in my opinion, they've managed to write maybe 2 or 3 songs worth jamming to at full volume in the past 20 years but that does nothing to soil their legacy. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A paragraph into my Def Leppard rant you're probably wondering, "hey, wasn't this article supposed to be about the worst band names ever? Why's this idiot going on and on about Def Leppard?" Well, here's your answer: Just what in the bloody hell is a "Def Leppard?" I've never seen one. Is it just a respelling of "Deaf Leopard?" Like an actual cat that can't hear. Anyway it's a pretty stupid name. So listening to Def Leppard got me started again. Here I am to compile a list of the worst band names ever. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Limp Bizkit- They may have been the most recognizable faces of the rap metal movement but that doesn't change the fact that their name sucks about as much as I image an actual limp biscuit would. Biscuits are supposed to have a flaky or crispy outer layer and a warm center just calling for butter. Limp Bizkit has a center of juvenile lyrics and an outside ripe with baggy pants douchiness. Yep, their name sucks and they suck. Perhaps the name was fitting?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Goblin Cock- Goblin Cock actually rock. Total 1970s stoner rock worship with nice crunchy Black Sabbath-ish riffs. Unfortunately with a name that conjures images of a porno filmed on Middle Earth, they aren't going to be headlining any major arenas anytime soon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dumpy's Rusty Nuts- Another unfortunate fatality of bad band names, Dumpy actually plays pretty solid heavy blues tunes. They were generally lumped into the New Wave of British Heavy Metal movement but that's not a real fair comparison. They don't exactly remind one of Iron Maiden, Witchfinder General, Demon, or The Tygers of Pan Tang. Anyway, they've toured with a lot of the bands from that movement<span style="font-size: large;"> regardless</span> and they've also shared a stage with Motorhead and Hawkwind.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">IWrestledABearOnce- I've known many a person that idolized this band and I have to admit they are pretty inventive on a purely musical level. The lead singer was a chick who could really sing when she wanted to. Unfortunately, for me, she spent too much time screaming incomprehensibly to enjoy the moments when she decided to actually use her melodic vocal talents. Anyway, the name itself irritates the hell out of me because it's actually spelled as 1 word.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Tony Danza Tap-dance Extravaganza- Yeah, you read that right. I admittedly haven't taken the time to listen to much of their output but I can say this, "that's a hilarious band name you got there."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Goatwhore- Just like with Def Leppard, I'm left to wonder if their name translates literally. Are they talking about a goat that is actually a whore? How do you gauge goat whoredom? Don't goats just get it on with whatever male goat is near by the second they go in heat? I'm overthinking this. Anyway, the band is a pretty solid black metal unit and I don't tend to enjoy black metal. Lucky for me, the vocalist has the ability to make every other word clear enough to understand.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pussy- Another solid bluesy hard rocking English unit from the early 70s that is likely to this day wondering, "why didn't we sell many records?" Well, you can't just name your band Pussy and expect to make it into storefront windows. You may be talking about a cat but dirty minds around the world are thinking about something else. Fun fact: Deep Purple's Ian Gillan produced these guys.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Oral- An all girl band from the mid 80s who released one EP called <i>Oral Sex</i>. Oh, I get it. That's why your band is called Oral. Cause, wait, no... actually, I don't get it. Stupid, stupid idea. If you're going to try and make a living as a musician, why the hell would you compromise your earning potential by blacklisting yourself with a name like that before anyone hears one note of your music?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, those are my favorite bad band names. Got some I missed? Put them in the comments section below.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-38568713201448157512013-04-17T13:11:00.000-07:002013-04-17T13:11:03.263-07:00Podcast: Friday the 13th Series Overview Part II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-78896130568793146412013-04-16T08:55:00.003-07:002013-04-17T19:20:37.881-07:00Reviewed! 2 classic alien sleazefests. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUwvGsD2zSWnFLIQ4shEkYTTXBQ7z8ZvTtrSUryhrY0BIb7pvqlgEp9CwctD2mv-GErUx1B_HIL30tiMuKT3wAGYveF5ZIyqDtLeKBcgG1zKKZgH7v4UPmUBn_XfAtjAbOigWgL4FsC60/s1600/show.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUwvGsD2zSWnFLIQ4shEkYTTXBQ7z8ZvTtrSUryhrY0BIb7pvqlgEp9CwctD2mv-GErUx1B_HIL30tiMuKT3wAGYveF5ZIyqDtLeKBcgG1zKKZgH7v4UPmUBn_XfAtjAbOigWgL4FsC60/s200/show.jpg" width="133" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijOXatkwSiFbNq9p-G06XS9yLiSf4nh9_RfqKh0Q9ZHKEXVkoe9qojLjV8sZE5OW2HEJZ9rztx4qWGIU_dgH9WKFqY8VaayH1LDBJqGhLZ7Xtp0OuP8bqBZyM-u_j0WosTB1hqV101Fg0/s1600/alienslittle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijOXatkwSiFbNq9p-G06XS9yLiSf4nh9_RfqKh0Q9ZHKEXVkoe9qojLjV8sZE5OW2HEJZ9rztx4qWGIU_dgH9WKFqY8VaayH1LDBJqGhLZ7Xtp0OuP8bqBZyM-u_j0WosTB1hqV101Fg0/s200/alienslittle.jpg" width="146" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3MI7SEtMynzRVzzLoQHAyMQfC6myFgfmgIBcXuPPQhaqbvBnsBpkV5SJFNVSfahnOX6v2PHpecCirT2yWAdNT_goyVZNXdGKoT4Yba2qrtN0lHZt8YL2Wt6TWhor7NNbZ06ItHGZJHsY/s1600/womanvac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3MI7SEtMynzRVzzLoQHAyMQfC6myFgfmgIBcXuPPQhaqbvBnsBpkV5SJFNVSfahnOX6v2PHpecCirT2yWAdNT_goyVZNXdGKoT4Yba2qrtN0lHZt8YL2Wt6TWhor7NNbZ06ItHGZJHsY/s200/womanvac.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Wham Bam, Thank You Spaceman</i> and <i>Oversexed
Rugsuckers from Mars</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Six or seven years a go,
while scrolling through the cult movie category on some DVD distributor's
website, I discovered <i>Wham Bam Thank You
Spaceman!</i> If you've never seen this classic piece of
80s sleaze I'm referring to, it's
past time you find yourself a copy. It's a rather tasty piece of
cinema about two blue-skinned aluminum foil-wearing aliens who land on the
Sunset Strip and quickly seek out hookers to impregnate with their alien goo.
You see these aliens are sex-starved and as close as I can figure there's also the dual purpose of breeding to preserve their dying race. Usually when the plot revolves around aliens coming to earth to knock boots with human
women it has something to do with the alien's own populations
dwindling or having recently become extinct and well, this movie is no exception. The aliens, however, just come off as
a couple of horn dog Peeping Toms who happen to stumble upon every single couple in
LA in the midst of getting it on and it excites them. So, like I said, they
pick up a couple chicks and decide to try it for themselves. Only they don't
have real penises persay, they have intercourse with their tongues. Long,
serpent-like tongues. Now the ladies think they've found themselves a guy
who knows how to work his lollipop-licker like Gene Simmons on PCP but they don't realize they're actually engaging in interplanetary intercourse<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";"></span>. Perhaps their salivary glands produce alien semen?
Hell I don't know. Honestly there just isn't
much plot going on in <i>Wham Bam Thank You
Spaceman</i> and I<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>d be very surprised if the <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>writer<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span>
really thought about it too much. It's in essence a softcore
T&A extravaganza with blue aliens and gratuitous Dyanne Thorne (Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS). </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"> The
reason I mention <i>Wham Bam Thank You
Spaceman</i> is because watching <i>Oversexed
Rugsuckers from Mars </i>recently, I immediately recalled my first experience
with immature sexed up extraterrestrials. Only in <i>Rugsuckers</i>, the aliens don't jump in on the action.
They kind of play the part of constant voyeur. But then, it's
a little more complicated than that because the aliens in this movie are
"seeders." They actually started humanity here on Earth a few million years a go
and after millions of years away, they decide to revisit Earth and see just how
well their science experiment has worked. The aliens are no bigger than an
action figure and their spacecraft is your typical round UFO type thing with
antennae on top. Their little spaceship lands in some part of town where some
homeless folks are congregated so their first impression isn't
too god. <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Millions of years of evolution and this is as far as
they got? They're filthy,<span style="font-family: MS 明朝;">" </span>The aliens cry. So they hatch a new plan; mate a human with a vacuum cleaner.
This way there'll be a whole new species that is
much better at cleaning up after itself. It's at this point where you
know you're in for a treat. I know what you're
thinking, "how can it get any better than this? "Well, it does. You see, one of our little alien friends is also an alcoholic
and he makes a mistake with the program controls and boom! Our vacuum cleaner
just runs around raping and murdering people. I'm not joking.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"> The
rest of the movie focuses on our deranged vacuum cleaner running around,
popping up in women's</span><span style="font-size: large;"> bathrooms and having its way
with them. Do you need to know anything else about this movie to know you
should watch it? I mean, if your idea of a good time is Claymation
aliens, rapist vacuums, naked breasts, and clever dialogue like: </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Did you put lotion on
your dork again,<span style="font-family: MS 明朝;">"</span> girl asks while going down on
her boyfriend.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Why babe<span style="font-size: large;">," </span>he wonders.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Cause you taste like a
summer beach!<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Then you are certainly the audience for this movie!</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Yep, <i>Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars </i>is definitely in the same league as <i>Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman</i>, another
movie known for its clever dialogue. Like when the two aliens decide to double
up on a hooker. <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Let's ball this bitch.<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span>
How 2 classic movies like <i>Oversexed
Rugsuckers from Mars </i>and <i>Wham Bam
Thank You Spaceman</i> made it through Oscar season without 1 nomination, is a
complete mystery to me. The sad part is, I'm dead serious. If you're
not entertained by raunchy alien sexual exploits, you're
no friend of mine. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-5923329270666091792013-04-10T13:42:00.001-07:002013-04-10T13:54:02.711-07:00Podcast- Friday the 13th Series Part II<span style="font-size: large;"> Be on the lookout for my next podcast which will cover Friday the 13th Parts 5-11 and the remake. I'll post that up sometime this weekend. In the meantime I feel compelled to tell everyone to check out my twitter feed: ChrisPetry89. I know it's in the primitive stages but up until now I have resisted social media like the plague. I solemnly swear you shall not find me on Facebook! Hell, I'm not sure how many of you have discovered me here. The traffic reports for this blog indicate a decent number of viewers but nobody's commenting. So get to commenting people. Anyway, I've also written reviews for a few grindhouse classics, <i>Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars</i>, <i>Devil Doll</i>, and <i>Class of 1984. </i>So be on the lookout for those in a few days as well. Next week the new Ghost album comes out and I'm going to talk about that too. The week after, the new Rob Zombie and to end the month, the new Deep Purple. Very excited about all 3 discs and I'll be on here giving my two cents as always. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-71760032505801881292013-04-09T10:07:00.002-07:002013-04-11T19:19:57.034-07:00Just what in the name of all that is bloody, trashy, and glorious is a cult movie?<style>
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<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF-NK4bFPShibtiWlkymnA9qxbHtvCIkByucLny1M8lBPU7vktKimRkYKI9i1RcOSm9aKqoS2me6V3do7iaqmXAMbCndCq4LmJmnz7T1oNTBEBdLtBB1fIj55SSHXRvChN47XSHK-F7xw/s1600/marquee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF-NK4bFPShibtiWlkymnA9qxbHtvCIkByucLny1M8lBPU7vktKimRkYKI9i1RcOSm9aKqoS2me6V3do7iaqmXAMbCndCq4LmJmnz7T1oNTBEBdLtBB1fIj55SSHXRvChN47XSHK-F7xw/s320/marquee.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: large;">What is a cult movie? Well, I suppose there is much
to consider when answering that question. I will try, however, to give you my
best understanding of what a cult film means to me. Cult films are pictures
that lie firmly under the mainstream radar but that after many years of
generational rediscovering and word of mouth have become classic films in their
own right. They are <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>little<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span>
movies with big followings. Movies pursued to every run down art theater,
drive-in, and horror film convention by cinema fans with an unrelenting passion
for all that makes a cult film a cult film in the first place. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You see cult movies aren<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span>
big matinee headlining A-list starrers for a reason. The subject matter found
in cult movies is usually too risqué, controversial, or uncomfortable for the
general audience admission. They are most often times found within subgenres
like horror, science fiction, exploitation, sexploitation, and even comedy. The
budgets of these films tend to be relatively small and so the actors are
generally unknowns, the special effects are all practical makeup and kayro
syrup, the writers and directors would never be given financing by major
production companies to deliver the vision they wish to deliver, and the films
are made more a more specific kind of movie goer as opposed to a broad <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>anybody
who buys movie tickets<span style="font-size: large;">"</span> type of audience. Sometimes cult
movies find some kind of crossover success in the mainstream. Sometimes big
studio movies intended for mass-market appeal aren<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span>
as commercially successful or profitable as intended and fade away into
obscurity. That is, until they are discovered by a newer more forgiving
audience who lauds the film and gives it the respect it wasn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span>
given upon its initial release. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cult films are both the
stepping stone for newcomers and the safety net of actors and filmmakers who
always sought to make such films and of course, actors and filmmakers who never
intended to make such films but found some level of success or notoriety in
doing so. For instance, Johnny Depp got his start in <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street.</i> Brad Pitt starred in <i>Cutting Class</i>. Marisa Tomei was in <i>The Toxic Avenger, </i>Kevin Bacon <i>Friday the 13<sup>th</sup>, </i>Fisher
Stevens, Jason Alexander, and Holly Hunter <i>The
Burning. </i>In terms of directors, Oliver Stone directed <i>Seizure, </i>Martin Scorsese helmed <i>Boxcar
Bertha, </i>and Sam Raimi, of course, <i>The
Evil Dead</i>. Some actors like Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Bela Lugosi, Boris
Karloff, Jeffrey Combs, Tony Todd, Udo Kier, and Vincent Price are most well
known for their work in horror and exploitation. Directors, Lloyd Kaufman, Wes
Craven, Terrence Fisher, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Don Coscarelli, and John
Carpenter remained in horror and exploitation for most of their careers. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cult films have at times
found critical appraise. Most usually they have been shredded to pieces in the
pages of every newspaper in the country. Very view critics have ever been able
to grasp cult films or find any merit in them. They often times spend their
entire review doting on technical limitations, the amount of nudity, or the
amount of blood rather than listening to the dialogue, truly taking in an actor<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s
performance, or grading the film on its own merits against peers and imitators.
An example of critic who doesn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> get it is the one who
says, “This movie is shit. <i>The Godfather</i>
walks all over this.<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span> Another reviewer that one can
not rely upon for a true assessment of a cult picture is the reviewer offended
by nudity or who doesn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> understand why a chainsaw must
be used to dismember someone in a film called <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. </i>Some critics however, do get it. Roger
Ebert, Rex Reed, Harry Knowles, and Richard Roeper have often give fair if not
good reviews to cult films. They have always made known their disgust at
particular elements <span style="font-size: large;">and they haven't exactly </span>gone out of their way to praise every horror
or exploitation piece that has made its way to their local theater. However,
they have always fairly reviewed the films based on what they saw rather than
what they had preferred to have seen. Joe Bob Briggs, known as the world<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span>
only drive-in critic, reviews cult films exclusively and has written about the
topic extensively. <i>Halloween, Jaws,
Psycho, Peeping Tom, The Exorcist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, </i>and <i>Alien</i> have, despite their detractors,
found levels of mainstream critical appraise. Joe Bob will tell you to also
check out <i>Ator the Fighting Eagle, Puppet
Master, </i>and <i>Pray for Death.</i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cult films do not demand
the attention of anyone. Cinemagoers demand the attention of the cult film.
These are films found, enjoyed, and reviewed on the terms of the viewer.
Viewers, after discovering a new treasure, will wonder why a movie like <i>Bad Girls Go to Hell, Blood Feast, Blood on
Satan</i><i><span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> Claw, Dr. Goldfoot and
the Bikini Machine, </i>or <i>I Was A
Teenage Frankenstein</i> aren<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>t more well known.
Perhaps it was the lack of studio support or maybe it was the films<span style="font-size: large;">' </span>producer’s lack of funding for advertising that prevented these films from
gracing matinees across America before midnight. Perhaps it is just a matter of
society<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> tastes. We must, as cult film fans, understand that
the average movie going public would rather watch <i>Transformers</i> or <i>Valentine</i><i><span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> Day</i> than <i>X-tro </i>or <i>Nekromantik. </i>Cult films are generally less accessible because one
just doesn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> pack up the kids to go see <i>Gas Pump Girls </i>or <i>Lair of the
White Worm.</i> Everything that is so beautiful about the cult film is exactly
what damns it to the midnight double feature status it has attained. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Th<span style="font-size: large;">at<span style="font-size: large;">'s not</span></span></span></span> necessarily a bad thing mind you. If more people were watching <i>Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl-O-Rama
</i>and <i>Anthropophagus</i>, they wouldn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>t
be cult movies anymore. These movies know exactly what they are and where their
audience lies and it's time we did too. There is something very exciting and
fulfilling about knowing that at any given time, in any restaurant, shopping
mall, or workplace you may be, you<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>re probably the only
person that<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> ever seen <i>Three
on A Meathook.</i></span> </div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"> So,
cult film fans, I demand you do your part in keeping these classics alive. Pass
around your DVD or worn-out VHS copy to friends, go support special screenings
of these movies at mom and pop theaters, art houses, and drive-ins, and keep
perusing the internet and library for more titles you need to add to your
shopping list. I<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">'</span></span>ll even help you out below.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Basket Case</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Satan<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>s Sadists </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Pigs</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">City of the Dead</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Fifth Cord</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Spider Baby</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Reform School Girls</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Dracula vs. Frankenstein</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Please Don<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> Eat My Mother!</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">May</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">House of Whipcord</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">White Cannibal Queen</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bloodsucking Freaks</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">House on the Edge of the Park</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Tentacles</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Something Weird</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Strip Nude for Your Killer</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Psychomania</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Pit</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Gore, Gore Girls</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Day of the Triffids</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Beastmaster</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Silent Scream</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Virgin Witch</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Gorgo</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">SS Hellcamp</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Alligator</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Blood and Lace</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">House of Seven Corpses</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Blood and Black Lace</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Samurai Cop</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bloody Moon</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Devil Doll</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Popcorn</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Tingler</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Kille<span style="font-size: large;">r's</span> Delight</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Axe</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Thing from Another World</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Whip and the Body</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Devil's Ra<span style="font-size: large;">in</span></span> </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Teacher</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Leopard Man</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">And Soon the Darkness</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Brotherhood of Satan</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Empire of the Ants</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Thrill Killers</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Theater of Blood</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Frankenhooker</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">It Came Without Warning</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Hitchhiker</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Baba Yaga</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Blood Diner</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Deranged</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Brood</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Night of the Demon (1957-Occult)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Motor Psycho</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Silent Night, Bloody Night</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Monster o<span style="font-size: large;">n</span> Campus</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Die Screaming Marianne</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">This Stuf<span style="font-size: large;">f'll</span> Kill Ya!</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Just Before Dawn</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Rituals</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Food of the Gods</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Lisa and the Devil</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Torso</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Konga</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Night of the Demon (1980- Sasquatch)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> Go in the House</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Delirium</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Honeymoon Killers</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">I Walked with a Zombie</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Madhouse</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Motel Hell </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Dr. Caligari (1989)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Chopping Mall</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Prowler</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Abominable Dr. Phibes</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Blind Beast</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sssssss!</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Olga<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> House of Shame</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-83681305803916739382013-04-08T17:13:00.001-07:002013-04-08T17:13:59.968-07:00The Drive-In Movie Experience<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Though I can’t see them, raise your hand if you’ve been to a drive-in
movie theater. If I had asked you to do that last week you’d have one up on me.
Yes, believe it or not, Mr. “Horror and Exploitation” himself is new to the
drive-in experience. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Where I grew up in Southern West Virginia, the
drive-in was long deceased by the time my momma brought me into the world. That
was nearly 24 years a go! Upon doing some research I discovered that the
drive-in concept was introduced in the early 1930s and by the 1970s they were
on their way out. But fear not, a few nostalgic cinema fiends have managed to
hold onto their real estate, keep their ticket booths open, and keep the
concessions cooking. If an add I saw yesterday before the show at my local
drive-in is correct, there are less than 400 of these big outdoor movie screens
still in operation. At the peak of drive-in popularity there were supposedly
around 10,000. That’s a giant decline in operations! </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, let’s back up a little bit. Like I said, I grew
up in Southern, West Virginia. About 4 years ago I packed my bags and headed to
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to get my college education. I stayed in the city
after graduating because I found it offered more opportunities in my chosen
career and I very much enjoyed the convenience of having a Wal-Mart, a record
store, a shopping mall, and dozens of restaurants just a couple minutes from
home. While here I discovered that there were actually 2 drive-in theaters
within reasonable distance of my apartment. I had heard tales of the good times
had by my mom and Uncle Dave at the drive-in as children and I had seen
characters go to drive-in shows in various movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s
but again, I had not had the pleasure. After a few years of wonder, research,
and coaxing by books like <i>Joe Bob Goes to
the Drive-In</i>, I decided to buckle up and head over to the drive-in. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">A couple months back I got a flyer for The Riverside
Drive-In’s <i>April Ghouls</i> Weekend. On
the bill: <i>Friday the 13<sup>th</sup>, The
Burning, Return of the Living Dead, </i>and <i>Day
of the Dead</i> on Saturday and <i>The Thing
With Two Heads, Sugar Hill, Blood and Lace, and Scream, Blacula Scream</i> on
Sunday. I owned the movies on DVD but nothing beats seeing some of your
favorite flicks on a big screen with all the cracks and pops and film grain you
get from a 35mm projection. This is especially true of horror and exploitation films
and it was a sentiment I had heard shared by many a cult film aficionado. I had
to see these movies the way they were intended; 40 feet high, from the comfort
of my own car, in a <i>Friday the 13<sup>th</sup></i>
t-shirt and a <i>Burning</i> hoodie, with a
bag of popcorn and a Coca Cola. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It was just as Joe Bob Briggs (Drive-In movie critic
and author of the book I just talked about) described it. I pulled into a front
row parking spot right of center and made my way to the concession stand. As I
was walking toward the little building that housed said concessions, I could
see through the open door, there were Universal Monster t-shirts hanging from
the ceiling inside. I quickened my pace in excitement and bursting through the
door I was confronted with a barrage of horror film memorabilia and
merchandise. Now usually, Drive-Ins aren’t packing merch like this but this was
a special weekend, <i>April Ghouls</i>! I
looked at all the DVDs, model kits, and books before picking up what had caught
my attention in the first place, <i>Creature
from the Black Lagoon</i> and <i>Wolf Man</i>
shirts. Next I made my way to the concession stand where I claimed a hotdog, a
small popcorn, and my coke. I had food and I had stuff so I was ready to see <i>Friday the 13<sup>th</sup></i> projected on
that huge white screen a few hundred feet from my car. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I’m not going to bore you with the details of the
movies because 1) they’re classics and if you haven’t see them, what the hell
is wrong with you? 2) That’s a lot of writing. I watched 4 freakin’ movies. 3)
This is about the experience, not the content. 4) And finally, as if you were
planning on being there anyway! So, back to the experience. Wow! You know I’d
heard stories, like of the late great William Castle, and how theaters used to
have audience participation. That was very true at the drive-in. There was an
announcer who would introduce intermission cartoons, advertisements, and “coming
soon” trailers for old exploitation and horror flicks. He would also ask
patrons to flash their headlights if they enjoyed the show. After each show
everyone flocked to the concessions area because it was kind of a chilly night
and the atmosphere was very film fan friendly. Discussions about the previously
shown feature, the next feature, and horror films in general were all over the
place. Nice to hear other weirdoes talking about the same stuff that used to
get me death stares in my rural home town. Another thing I found really
attractive about the whole drive-in deal was the fact that the movie’s sound
was on a radio frequency which I tuned into in my car. This was great because
one can adjust the volume to their own liking. Oh, and you can put on a blanket
and take a damn nap if you so desire. I was much too awake for that though!</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I’m going to say it, and mind you this is coming from
a guy who owns a few thousand horror movies on DVD, the drive-in is the way to
watch cult movies. It’s not like I’m going to give up DVD collecting; to the
contrary, I’ve picked up my habit! Shit, it’s difficult to resist cheapies in
the Amazon marketplace. Joking aside, if I had a chance to see just about
anything in my collection on the big screen with missing reels, pops, and
grainy film, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I will be visiting the drive-in again in
my near future, I know that much. When my drive-in announces the film lineup
for the <i>September Ghouls</i> fest, I’ll
already have my windshield cleaned, my gas tank filled, and my concession cash
set aside. I urge you, cult film fans, go out there and support a drive-in.
There aren’t many left and if you’ve been privy to the magic that happens in
those places, you know why we have to fight to hold onto the ones we have. If
you haven’t been to one, get off your ass and visit drive-ins.com. They got a
list of every drive-in in your state. As Joe Bob mightily roars, the drive-in
will never die!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-53082253499522890952013-04-05T11:57:00.001-07:002013-04-10T13:42:15.849-07:00Podcast-Friday the 13th Part 1<span style="font-size: large;">Below you can listen to my podcast where I talk about the 'Friday the 13th' film series. I originally envisioned this as just one podcast completely devoted to Jason and all his machete-wielding exploits. However, there are 12 movies in the franchise and as I began discussing the films' production, cast and crew, special effects, release, plot, goofs, and so forth, I realized I was going to need more time. So what I've done is broken it up into two parts. The first part, which you can listen to below, talks about Friday the 13th parts 1-4. I had the most knowledge about those films and as a result had more to say about them. In the next part, which I will post sometime next week, I will talk about parts 5-12. Parts 5-8 were produced by Paramount pictures like the first 4 and Jason Goes to Hell, Jason x, and Freddy vs. Jason were produced by New Line Cinema. The 2009 remake, which I'm considering part 12, was produced by Platinum Dunes. Everything after the 8th part in the franchise features Jason the character but isn't really traditionally a 'Friday the 13th' film, which I will discuss in detail. I'll be honest, my reviews of those films are likely to be shorter and sweeter purely because I don't have the love affair with them that I have with the Paramount films. Nonetheless, they are part of the overall franchise and will get their dues. Anyway, listen to the podcast and comment. Don't forget to check me out on twitter. ChrisPetry89. I will post updates regarding this blog, my projects, and news and plugs about me and things that interest me. Have a good one!</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-57092539861637967732013-04-02T12:58:00.000-07:002013-04-02T12:59:11.399-07:00Podcasts<span style="font-size: large;">So recently I've decided to get on board with the whole podcast thing. Honestly it's a really cool tool that I support 100%. It's like a blog only there's no reading and writing involved. I actually really enjoy the writing angle but I know that a lot of people don't get behind reading like I do. Then there's also the fact that you can listen to a podcast while you do something else. You don't need to focus all your attention on the screen. You can work, eat, drive, do the laundry, feed the cat or dog, or various other activities while the podcast plays in the background. You get all the information without the investment of your valuable time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As you might have guessed by my overwhelming support for podcasts, I will now be posting my own right here on this very blog. I will continue to write articles and I will do quick written summaries of every podcast for an on-the-go follower. Once a week, however, I hope to upload a new podcast for your listening pleasure. The topics will remain the same: horror movies and heavy metal music. I mean, occasionally if there's something else interesting going on, I will discuss it. I try to avoid politics and religion but if it's a big enough issue I'll throw in my 2 cents. The main focus will be movies and music though. It's what I know best. It's what I find the most interesting.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Stay tuned for the first slab of audio greatness, headed your way very soon. Again, the podcasts will be posted here. Check me out on twitter. ChrisPetry89! Coming soon: video. More details on what to expect at a later date.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-9845979499319786672013-03-28T11:16:00.003-07:002013-03-28T11:25:58.483-07:00Unique Singers<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Usually
when discussing singers I, and just about everyone else, will analyze them in
accordance to vocal range, <span style="font-size: large;">impact,</span> and the genre they generally perform
in. For instance, one might say, Celine Dion has an incredible range. But would
she make a good metal singer? Probably not. Or <span style="font-size: large;">Lou Reed, despite not being a technically magnificent singer, inspired many a punk rock vocal<span style="font-size: large;">ist.</span></span> Today, however, I<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>d like to take a few
minutes to talk about singers that are just all around unique. This has nothing to
do with technical ability or genres. I will not talk about what I think is <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>bad<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span>
or <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">“</span>good.<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">”</span> It is simply a look at
some of the most original vocal styles you<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>re likely to hear. Sound,
delivery, and peer comparison played into my decisions. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Tim Baker</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Cirith Ungol</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Tim's delivery is raspy and high-pitched all at once. It's what I imagine Skeletor would sound like in a metal band. Love the music by the way! </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrrIipPsGiM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrrIipPsGiM</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Legendary Stardust Cowboy</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: The Legendary Stardust Cowboy</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: No one delivers a tune like this guy. His diction is bizarre to say the least. A little bit of trivia for you: David Bowie covered his song "Took a Trip on a Gemini Spacecraft." Bowie's been a fan for years. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EEZAivzl1Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EEZAivzl1Q</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">King Diamond</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Mercyful Fate/King Diamond</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Nobody has a falsetto like King. Not to mention, his regular voice is pretty unique too. Likely a mixture of his Danish accent and the lyrical subject matter. Plus the guy sings songs in multiple voices because his songs feature characters and his albums are one big story. Have to love King Diamond! </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuevYEJXRnM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuevYEJXRnM</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Lord Worm</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Cryptopsy</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Lord Worm doesn't even sound human. I know that many a grindcore vocalist out there has borrowed a page from his lesson plan. Never been a giant fan of his vocal approach because he sacrifices lyrical understanding for a monstrous vocal effect. However, I can't do what he does and I'm not sure anyone else really can. He's original and I have massive respect for him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYv269-HcqU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYv269-HcqU</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Tom Waits</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Tom Waits</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: His voice sounds like it lost a boxing match, ate some razor blades, smoked a carton of cigarettes, caught on fire from a cigarette, and was put out with sand. To cool off it had a swig of Jack Daniels. It's so raspy and fragile and yet, it commands great presence. If you heard him singing you'd know it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPzJbntlnY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPzJbntlnY</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Captain Beefheart</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Captain Beefheart</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Beefheart, besides writing some of the craziest lyrics in the history of music, had a deep, raspy, and unconventional vocal delivery. I'm not sure how to really describe it because it isn't as rough as Tom Waits but it isn't Elton John either. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq6fCOGyVJg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq6fCOGyVJg</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Tom Warrior A.K.A. Thomas Gabriel Fischer</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Celtic Frost/Apollyon Sun/Triktykon</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Tom's Swiss accent is very prevalent in his singing voice. Couple that with his menacing growls and grunts and you got a pretty unique vocal sound. Tom was an obvious inspiration for many black and death metal vocalists. His vocals today, are just as unique as they were 30 years a go and we love him for it!</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpC7e9KFBLg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpC7e9KFBLg</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Katie Jane Garside</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Katie has a, let's say, different delivery. Sometimes she'll be almost whispering and other times she's totally wailing. Not to mention, she's almost 45 years old and at times you think you're listening to a 6 year old sing. Creepy. Love the tunes! </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqERBkwBSsY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqERBkwBSsY</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Jinx Dawson</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Band: Coven</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Why: Often called the 'Goth Queen,' Jinx burst onto the scene with the early 1970s occult rock band, Coven. Despite the fact that the songs were lyrically driven by the occult, Satan, witches, magic, and ritual the music wasn't all that heavy. Her vocal style is, well hard to explain. Just listen to the way she carries notes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN1t-sPxPJM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN1t-sPxPJM</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Bobby Blitz Ellsworth</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Band: Overkill</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Why: Sometimes he drops some of the best shrieks in metal and at other times he sings in a very, very low, almost bluesey style.<span style="font-size: large;"> He's <span style="font-size: large;">got a <span style="font-size: large;">unique all-around vocal sound.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Sample: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YOvrqDtBqo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YOvrqDtBqo</a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-41674228095306725662013-03-22T07:43:00.001-07:002013-03-23T12:01:48.174-07:00Why Sequels and Remakes Can be Good but Often End Up Sucking Like a Leech<style>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>s talk about sequels for
a couple minutes. I think we can all agree that sequels are most often not
nearly as good as the original. There have been exceptions. Off the top of my
head I can think of <i>Aliens, Evil Dead II,
Terminator 2, Psycho II, The Bride of Frankenstein, </i>and <i>Magnum Force.</i> Every one of those movies
was as good or nearly as good as the original. The reason every single one of
those sequels worked as well as they did as that the writers and filmmakers
found a way to expand the universe created in the first picture without losing
sight of the original narrative. One major element always remained consistent
while the general story itself evolved. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In <i>Aliens</i>, we got more aliens. I mean really, that was the major
change. It went from being 1 lone woman vs. 1 unknown acid-spitting xenomorph
to a team lead by said woman vs. multiple acid-spitting night creepers. The
elements that made the first movie great remained generally intact. They were
only expanded to add a new level of suspense and thrill for the audience. Had
it followed the exact same 1 on 1 formula the movie probably wouldn<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>t
have worked. At that point in the franchise the ante needed to be upped to draw
us back in. To make us say, <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>how is she going to get
out of here alive this time?<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span> The suspense that worked
so well in the first movie just couldn<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>t work the same way a
second time because we had already seen the monster. <i>Evil Dead II</i> was essentially, a remake of the original film done in
the way the director wanted to do the film the first time but could<span style="font-size: large;">n'</span>t
due to a lack of money to do it. It worked too. Again, the scenario was mostly
unchanged but the universe was expanded. New supporting characters, bigger set
pieces, and a deeper exploration into the powers of the Necronomicon spellbook
and its history. The Necronomicon, if you folks don<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>t
know, was an ancient Sumerian text known as <span style="font-size: large;">'</span>The Book of the Dead.<span style="font-size: large;">' </span>Of course the Necronomicon as we know it in pop culture, is largely influenced
by the book as it was used in the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. It is an
essential plot point in Raimi<span style="font-size: large;">'</span>s <i>Evil Dead </i>movies. Anyway, as to not veer off topic, one can see the
commonality among great sequels. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Bad sequels have a lot in common
too. Like I said, they usually break the rules the previous film or films put
into place. Take <i>A Nightmare on Elm
Street Part 2: Freddy</i><i><span style="font-size: large;">'</span>s
Revenge</i>. If I were to watch that movie wholly on its own merits, there are
things I can really get into. First off, Robert Englund is always amazing. One
of the greatest actors ever when it comes to the use of body language. He is a
guy who can say so many words with his hands, facial expressions, walk, and
shoulder movements. Of course when<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";"> when<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span>wearing a striped
sweater and a clawed glove, <span style="font-size: large;">he's</span> at his very best. Other
merits of the film would include the awesome Clu Gulagar, the very creepy
score, and some pretty awesome kills. Now the bad: and no I<span style="font-size: large;">'m</span>
not talking about the homosexual subtext people have been debating since 1985.
I<span style="font-size: large;">'m</span> talking about that rule breaking again. It was
established in the first movie that Freddy Krueger was a powerful demonic force
when encountered in the domain of dreams. The only way he could be hurt or
killed was to be pulled into reality by the dreamer he was attacking. Nancy
succeeds in bringing Freddy into reality and waiting for him are a bunch of
dangerous booby traps she has specifically prepared. In <i>Freddy</i><i><span style="font-size: large;">'s</span>
Revenge</i>, even knowing his human vulnerability he seemingly wants to inhabit
the body of the very human Jesse and use him to strike again in the world of
the living. Say what? Like in the first movie there is still some supernatural
presence to him even whilst walking around in reality. However, to inhabit a
human body he opens himself up to human vulnerability. We can be shot, stabbed,
set on fire, and blown up and we aren<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> dusting it off like
Fred does in the land of nightmares. So as you see, the story clearly makes a
dumb-dumb choice. It defies Wes Craven<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> original assertion that
Freddy is just as mortal as the rest of us when playing in our plane of
existence.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One of the biggest things I hear
from people, particularly genre buffs, is that somehow sequels will <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>ruin<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span>
the original movie. My response to that is, <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>seek counseling.<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span>
The events displayed in a sequel should have no effect on your opinion of the
movie that precedes it. It<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>s madness to think otherwise. If
the sequel sucks, the original still exists by way of DVD, digital copy, VHS,
and or film print for your enjoyment. You can opt not to buy the sequel when it
comes out and just end your collection of whatever franchise it belongs to with
the last film in said franchise you enjoyed. Which in some cases may be the
first film. You can pretend it doesn<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">’</span>t even exist! Believe me,
that<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> what I do with a lot of remakes. Oh and <i>Jason X</i> and <i>Seed of Chucky</i>. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since I mentioned it, let<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span>
talk remakes for a second. Remakes are not technically sequels because they are
supposed to exist outside of the original established universe. They are an
attempt to start over or restructure the previous universe. So in a way they
are more forgivable than sequels that completely disregard the preceding film<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span>
laws. Then in another way they are not forgivable. One of my problems with the
vast majority of remakes is this: if you vastly alter the characters or plot
you<span style="font-size: large;">'re</span> just making a new movie altogether. So why must you
use the title, character names, and basic story elements of the original film?
Why not just make an entirely different film with your own characters. Of
course the answer is generally because <i>Friday
the 13</i><sup>th</sup> is a bigger name than <i>The Killer in the Woods</i> and thus, guaranteed to sell more theater
tickets and merchandise. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The other real issue I have with
remakes is that the marketing machine tries to pretend like the original didn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span>
exist. This is because they want the general public to buy the new vision so
they may make plenty of profitable sequels. They don<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span>
want you to think you<span style="font-size: large;">'ve</span> seen it all before or that you
have an alternative. For instance, last year, Warner Brothers (Who now owns the
original studio New Line Cinema) released a <i>Nightmare
on Elm Street </i>box set featuring the first 8 films starring Robert Englund.
Guess whom they had on the box art? Jackie Earl Haley, the new Freddy Krueger.
Why would they do that? No offense to Jackie but he had absolutely no involvement
in those movies. It is a cheap marketing ploy to make young folk who may have
never seen the original believe they will be getting a product very much like
the new one they liked. Of course the studio only did this after they realized
people hadn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> forgotten about the old films. I see now that the box
set has been re-released with Robert Englund on the cover, as should be.
Apparently the new <i>A Nightmare on Elm
Street</i> didn<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> come close to matching the
success of the Robert Englund films and people still envision Mr. Englund as
Freddy Krueger. He was the voice of their childhood nightmares after all.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">If Warner Brothers had waited at
least another 10 years to reboot the Freddy Krueger brand they may have had
more success. This is another problem we run into with remakes. The last film
featuring Robert Englund was in 2003. He was doing press for and promoting new
Freddy Krueger TV projects, comic books, and film sequels up until about a year
before they announced the 2010 remake. No one had forgotten about Freddy
Krueger or Robert Englund. So Robert suddenly being replaced and a remake being
announced looked mighty suspicious. It looked like nothing more than an attempt
to <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>update.<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">”</span> Which is something you
hear a lot these days. <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">“</span>Hey that old movie looked like it
was made in 1984. We can make it so much better with our CGI.<span style="font-size: large;">" </span>The flaws and technical limitations of the old movie are really just part of
the charm. Studios don<span style="font-size: large;">'t</span> seem to understand this
mentality. They also underestimated the role Robert Englund played into the
character<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> success. In their attempt to keep anyone from being
reminded of the original movie, they only reminded us of how great the old one
really is. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In my mind, remaking a movie that
is 50-100 years old is no issue. It re-introduces the movie-going public to
concepts and characters that have fallen out of popularity or that have just
been replaced in the <span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";">public's</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif";"></span></span> mind by literally thousands of
other movies. This can in turn stir up interest in seeking out the original
film. It can also get studios to get off their ass and commission proper DVD
and Blu-Ray releases of the old movie. They will view it as a worthy
investment. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So whether you<span style="font-size: large;">'re</span>
talking sequels, prequels, or remakes, ther<span style="font-size: large;">e's</span> a lot to consider. You
have to analyze each movie on its own and then see how well it correlates with
the source material. Good movies can come from sequels and remakes if the new
writers and filmmakers embrace the material as their own while doing their best
to maintain the integrity of the franchise<span style="font-size: large;">'s</span> starting point. It is a
simple concept that is often times marred by artistic arrogance, pretention,
studio pressure, and the need to make a buck. Just remember, no matter how
badly a sequel or prequel fails, we always have the original to run back to.
The original must be cherished for without it: there is no sequel and there is
no remake. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-23893519931934069862013-03-18T11:57:00.002-07:002013-03-18T12:01:30.721-07:00Retro Rock: 70s and 80s Heavy Metal being Made Today<style>
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</style> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfllnb2jxtCCHyHXBEaVE7o_kmiafZq7o954b-mKh65BbO06jJJh2IJKBebmsrA1PJBpczqoHiZEDuytep3b1bPWlN2oTLZLsx9r-CHWXVFfnij-cPPyKqaQaNEFbqXTByEi_ynLtanLI/s1600/med226057devil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfllnb2jxtCCHyHXBEaVE7o_kmiafZq7o954b-mKh65BbO06jJJh2IJKBebmsrA1PJBpczqoHiZEDuytep3b1bPWlN2oTLZLsx9r-CHWXVFfnij-cPPyKqaQaNEFbqXTByEi_ynLtanLI/s200/med226057devil.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEissL5Hv3nOp73titmLpB1kVBJnzgh9EuJs8I9W6VEA8faeaQ4QCsL-uz95dnWpNOrNx1GnmWNd2I00_Ten-KTWuZDBtpqlNfVJmXsr385TYG1OBMJ8wduSlJ93Awf0N-u7nV-voovK4lU/s1600/med672065rock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEissL5Hv3nOp73titmLpB1kVBJnzgh9EuJs8I9W6VEA8faeaQ4QCsL-uz95dnWpNOrNx1GnmWNd2I00_Ten-KTWuZDBtpqlNfVJmXsr385TYG1OBMJ8wduSlJ93Awf0N-u7nV-voovK4lU/s200/med672065rock.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> <span style="font-size: large;"> If you love heavy music
you probably like some of the following bands: Black Sabbath, Judas Priest,
Mercyful Fate, Deep Purple, Scorpions, Venom, Metallica, Motorhead, Motley
Crue, Slayer, Anthrax, Bathory, Death, Mayhem, Alice Cooper, Led Zeppelin, Saxon,
Queensryche, UFO, Pentagram, Riot, Overkill, Testament... These are just some
of those essential bands that helped shape the heavy metal genre and are thus
considered must-listens by many headbangers. Some heavy music fans,
particularly those who were around when those bands formed and unleashed their
first few albums, often get nostalgic. Hell, I get nostalgic. I headbanged
until my head hurt, driving down the road in my car blaring <i>Holy Diver</i>, <i>Melissa</i>,
<i>Master of Reality</i>, and <i>La Sexorcisto Devil Music Vol. 1</i>. A friend
and I actually pulled a <i>Wayne's World </i>on multiple occasions, trading off
vocal duties to a noise ordinance-defying rendition of <i>Bohemian Rhapsody</i>.
Today as I spin new albums by new artists, I don't feel the same since of
excitement I had when I heard <i>Hell's Bells</i> and <i>Working Man</i>. Why
is that? Maybe it's because I didn't grow up with these new bands. The old guys
had already popped my sonic cherry and once you go old school metal, well,
everything else just pales in comparison. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Some of the biggest obstacles
to overcome in enjoying the new stuff are the vocals, the overly clean digital
production, and the complete lack of showmanship being displayed by most bands
these days. When it comes to vocals, I'm looking for someone who can belt it
like Rob Halford or Bruce Dickinson. I love those insane glass-breaking high
notes and I tremble at the sound of deep evil-sounding grunts. These days it
seems like the vocals have literally morphed into an instrument. They have lost
their humanity. For instance when I attempt to listen to a grindcore tune, I
can’t follow the lyrics even with a print out of them in my hand. The vocal
delivery is a series of shrieks, snorts, and squeals with no attempt to make
the message of the song known. Don’t get me wrong. I can’t perform grindcore.
Saying that most people can’t has to lend it some sort of credibility no matter
how much I’d like to reject such a thought. If you like grindcore, good for
you! But for me, it’s a bunch of incoherent noise. This is where I start
reminiscing again. Remember when guys like Alice Cooper and King Diamond would
sing songs as a part of a greater story? They would change their voices to
match different characters, sometimes within the same line. Or who in heavy
music today, has a more memorable voice than Bon Scott or Ozzy Osbourne? And vocals aside, whatever happened to being able to hear
that fuzz, that accidental clanging of a drumstick slipping out of the
drummer’s hand, or bands dressing up in costumes and makeup and setting things
on fire? It’s those things that made shows a lot of fun and gave records a flawed human
touch. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I know, you’ve heard this all before. That’s why I’m not going to
waste any more time trying to convince you why the gray-hairs are so much
better than the plaid-shirted bearded young folk hitting the skins, shredding
the guitar, and commanding the microphone today. So the point of my post? Hope
is alive! Out there right now there is a plethora of great young people making
kick-ass metal tunes. They’re making music that will remind one of the 70s/80s
heydays of the genre whilst infusing a modern touch to keep things fresh. It’s
the perfect balance between the old school and the new school. As always, the
metal community has already placed a label on these throwbacks. They call them
The New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal. Other terms that have picked up steam
are: retro rock, retro metal, and new old metal. Call it what you want, most of
it is pretty good. I hear some metal purists complaining because these bands
won’t get with the times or because they aren’t as good as the bands they’re
playing homage to. My answer to that? Who cares? No one is going to replace the
old guard. Plus, like I said earlier, if you grew up with the old guys, nothing
will ever be able to compare to that spark you felt when it was new. Just enjoy
it for what it is. I mean, what do you have to lose? What are your other
options? Collect all the old stuff and then eventually have no new music to
listen to? Or maybe you’ll suck it up and go buy some metalcore or grindcore.
Not this guy! There is a way to continue to enjoy new heavy metal that sticks
truer to the foundation of the founding fathers of heavy and it’s called The
New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Traditional Heavy Metal Bands of Note:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ghost- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Opus
Eponymous</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Jex Thoth- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jex
Thoth</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Christian Mistress- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Possession</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Black Moth- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Killing
Jar</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Holy Grail- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ride
the Void</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Orchid- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Capricorn</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">White Wizzard- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Over
the Top</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Enforcer-Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Diamonds</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Blood Ceremony- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Living with the Ancients</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Speedwolf- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ride
with Death</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">In Solitude- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
World the Flesh the Devil</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Portrait- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crimen
Laesae Majestatis Divinae</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Witchcraft- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Alchemist</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cauldron- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Chained
to the Nite</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Steel Panther- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Feel
the Steel</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">RAM- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Death</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Striker- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Armed
to the Teeth</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Witch- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Witch</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Crystal Viper-Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crimen
Excepta</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bullet- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bite
the Bullet</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Widow- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Life</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s Blood</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ravage- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">End
of Tomorrow</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Early Man- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Closing
In</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Kobra and the Lotus- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Kobra and the Lotus</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Graveyard- Check out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hisingen
Blues</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">The bands
are a mixture of styles from the good old days. You get a little Black Sabbath
or Pentagram-like doom, a little Blue Cheer blues, a little Alice Cooper horror
rock, some Motorhead or Metallica like thrashing, Mercyful Fate or Venom styled
speed metal with occult overtones, and even really catchy 80s arena rock tunes
from more glam-like acts. Fans of hard n<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span> heavy from 1968 to 1995
should find something from these bands that reminds them of the bands that got
them into this music in the first place. Even better, it will give you that
sense of hearing something new but with just enough familiarity as to not make
you want to gauge out your eyes. Metal is changing and you can either get with
the tide or seek out these guys and gals that are keeping that old school
mentality alive. See, it<span style="font-family: "MS 明朝","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">’</span>s a great compromise. You get to
move forward while staying right where you like it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">P.S. For the more open metal heads, there are a lot of new bands keeping thrash and death metal equally rooted and exciting right now. Maybe I'll talk about them soon. Oh, and death to grindcore, metalcore, post-grunge, and emo. It has to go.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-2019569606637191202013-03-17T17:03:00.001-07:002013-03-18T12:01:12.841-07:00Why Censorship is a Bunch of Un-American Bullshit<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: large;">Okay, let's talk about censorship
for a moment. I'm assuming from my headline you already know my thoughts on the
matter but I'm going to elaborate on why. First we must ask, what is
censorship? A dictionary will give you a pretty vague explanation like, "the
act of censoring." So, what does it mean to censor? The answer is of
course is to cover, prohibit, or hide certain words, images, phrases, opinions,
or writings because the material is considered by the powers that be to be
morally or principally objectionable. The only problem with using such a
definition is that one must now determine the basis for which something is
considered to be objectionable. That my friends, opens up a whole new can of
worms. What one person finds to be reprehensible, another might not have any
problem with at all. For instance, if I say "Fuck the Steelers,"
you're going to react in 1 of 3 ways. Either you're going to say, "Hey,
fuck you! The Steelers Rule!" Or you might shrug it off and say nothing at
all because my opinion matters very little to you. After all, everyone is
entitled to their opinion right? The other reaction might be, "why'd you
have to use the F-word?" Now, living in the city of Pittsburgh the
majority of people are likely going to disagree with my abrasive dismissal of
their favorite sports team. That’s no problem. Unpopular opinions are still
opinions. The problem would be being, by law, prohibited from voicing that
opinion. Now, you’re probably thinking, this is the USA, freedom of speech! What
I’m here to tell you today is that somewhere down the line the first amendment
has been altered in the hearts and minds of the people and its government to
mean, freedom of speech as long as it’s the popular opinion.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">I once
walked into the mall to get a haircut having forgotten that I was wearing a Rob
Zombie’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">House of 1,000 Corpses</i>
t-shirt that proclaimed, “Everyone fucking dies” on the back. As soon as I
signed my name on the waiting list at the salon an older man approached me and
said, “Son you shouldn’t be wearing that. It doesn’t look good.” Well, I kind
of agreed with him. I said, “I apologize, I forgot I was even wearing the
shirt.” A few minutes later as I was waiting my turn to get snipped a security
guard approached me and said “we’ve gotten several complaints about your
t-shirt.” Which of course means, “This one guy is totally offended by your
t-shirt.” As to not make a scene I quietly left the mall. I still think of that
day though. There was so much wrong with that scenario that it still eats at
me. First off, I was wearing a t-shirt with a tagline for a movie on it. Is a
movie and its tagline not a freedom of expression as guaranteed by the 1<sup>st</sup>
Amendment of the U.S. constitution? Was it not my free choice to represent that
movie? Also, why would me wearing a t-shirt with a word somebody doesn’t
approve of bother someone so much that they actually walked all the way down to
the end of the mall to talk to someone at the security office? This person was
acting as if I had stolen something, kicked a baby, and snorted coke off the
fountain on my way out. This person was so greatly offended by nothing more
than a word. Words only have the power we give them. Obviously, he gave that
word a lot of power. What this person did not realize though, by bucking at my
right of free expression, he was denying my rights as a U.S. citizen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">It is
said that Voltaire, a French writer and philosopher, said, “I disapprove of
what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Voltaire
died in 1778, two years after The Declaration of Independence was written. This
quote embodies all of what our founding fathers intended with the 1<sup>st</sup>
Amendment. That right, still to this day, is absolute. It is not to be twisted
and manipulated to make 1 or 100,000 happy. It is in place to make us as a
whole happy. To allow us to be free to speak our mind, create, challenge, and
enlighten all those who care to listen. You do not have to listen but you can’t
stop me from talking!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">In 2013
this just shouldn’t be an issue. I shouldn’t have to sit here and explain the 1<sup>st</sup>
Amendment to anyone. In all actuality, anyone reading this blog most likely
knows of the Bill of Rights and what it means to us as a people. People who don’t
understand the Bill of Rights will say things like, “but what about the
children?” Well good sir or mam, that is up to you as a parent. You are to
teach your children what you believe to be right or wrong. You are to teach
your children of the ‘golden rule’ and instill them with morality, laws, and
boundaries. That is not up to me. You cannot tell adults what they can’t say in
public because of what you teach your children. In fact, kids need to hear some
things. If children are not exposed to anything then they will not know how to
handle themselves when they enter the real world and have no choice but to hear
things they don’t like. Again, my freedom of speech is absolute. I will not
make it a point to say things to your child that you would not want them to
hear out of respect for you and the morality I have in myself. I will not be
barred from expressing myself in a public forum because somebody doesn’t like
the words on my shirt or coming out of my mouth. Those words are only bad
because someone says they are bad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">What we
have in cases of people shutting out the freedom of speech is a discussion of
taste. Taste does not make the law. There is nothing wrong with finding something
distasteful. We all do. We must, however, realize that others may not.
Adversely, what we find to be perfectly okay, somebody else may not. We reserve
ourselves amongst others so that we don’t offend them out of respect. Not
because we will be flogged, tarred and feathered, or burned at the stake if we
don’t. Look at it like this, in the Western world, eye contact when talking to someone
is a sign of respect. In other places in the world, such as the Far East,
direct eye contact is a sign of disrespect. I love bacon but I would not expect
a Jew or a Muslim to eat bacon. I respect their opinions and beliefs. I can
live with the fact that you don’t like what I have to say. You have that right.
You must also learn that I have a difference in opinion and I’m entitled to it.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">One of
the biggest slaps-in-the-face of our constitution comes by way of censorship in
art. Yes, there are laws against the exploitation of children and animals.
There should be. They are not mentally capable of making decisions that adults
can make. There is a scientific basis for this and it must be understood and
respected. However, what 2 or more consenting adults engage in is the business
of those adults. If you don’t like reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hustler</i>
magazine and seeing those naked photo spreads don’t read it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I mention <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hustler,</i> specifically because its founder and publisher, Larry
Flynt, is one of the greatest champions of the 1<sup>st</sup> Amendment ever.
You may not agree with some of Larry’s choices as a person and you may not
agree with the work he does but you need to respect his right to do it. It was
a long hard battle for him that resulted in multiple lawsuits, imprisonments,
and even the use of his legs in an assassination attempt. He held in there
though. He fought hard for all of us, whether that was his intention or not
matters in the least. He did it so that we are able to exercise the right
afforded to us by the framers of our constitution. Most famously, he defeated
Jerry Falwell in the Supreme Court over his right to parody public figures. If
one puts themselves in the public eye, the public has the right to make fun of
them. That my friends, is guaranteed by the freedom of speech. You can say what
you want about that person. That’s not to say that your reputation and relationships
business or otherwise, will not suffer as a result of your outspokenness. The
people you may do business with may not agree with what you say and they have a
right not to do business with you. They have a right to say what they think of
you just as easily as you do them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Without
Larry Flynt’s court victory, shows like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Saturday
Night Live</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">South Park</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Simpsons</i>, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family Guy</i> may have had a harder time getting their material on the
air. The reason being that for everyone out there with a sense of humor, one of
the celebrities they parody might have been able to sue them for defamation.
Luckily, Larry won and we as a people were guaranteed that we are allowed to
say how much we think a certain band sucks or do a laughingly bad impersonation
of even the President of the United States on live TV. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">When it
comes to movies, we have a little organization called the Motion Picture
Association of America. They are a bunch of nameless, faceless,
paid-in-the-shadows individuals who get to decide whether the material
presented in your movie is offensive or not. They get to tell you that if you
don’t cut 10 seconds of sex or 5 seconds of a decapitation your movie isn’t
going to be played in a theater with a rating that will allow a bunch of people
to view your movie and make you any kind of profit. Even worse they may ban the
movie outright and say that it just can’t be played in a movie theater. Okay,
here’s the issue with that. Should objectionable material be kept from the eyes
of children who do not understand the context? I think so. Is it my job to tell
someone else what is right or wrong for their children? Absolutely not. Even
worse, who the hell is the MPAA to tell me, an adult, what I shouldn’t watch?
That is my choice and my choice alone. It is the filmmaker’s choice to present
a film with their message and my choice to receive that message or not. Leave
it up to us MPAA; we don’t need a Big Brother movie agency. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Music,
there’s another fun one for you. Wal-Mart, I’m looking at you. Why is Wal-Mart
allowed to sell edited CDs? No I’m sorry. They should be allowed to sell edited
copies. The real question is why don’t they sell the original cut of the album
in the way the artist intended also? If they want to restrict the sale of a CD
based on lyrical content to a minor, they have that right as a company. It’s
also very much appreciated by parents. Why don’t they have the un-edited one
for me the adult? The answer is because Wal-Mart does not want you to hear the
un-edited CD because someone at Wal-Mart has deemed it in bad taste. Once more
I will say, bad taste doesn’t mean a damn thing when compared to the law of the
land, the United States Constitution. I will give Wal-Mart this though, they do
mark that their CDs are edited. Some other outlets do not. I bought 3 copies of
the last Meatloaf album from 3 different stores before I got the one with Meatloaf
singing “she’ll fuck you when she’s done,” on the track “Like A Rose.” Was the
word “fuck” really necessary to my enjoyment of this album? No, not really. But
it was the lyric the artist chose and let’s be honest, when you’re singing
along do you want the chorus to drop off or worse have a beeping sound? That
really throws off the flow of the song!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">So, I
hope you think about what I have said. I hope you realize that bad taste,
popular opinion, and individual morals and motives cannot interfere with our 1<sup>st</sup>
Amendment. It is what separates us from unjust dictatorships. When we ban one
thing we soon ban something else. It’s a slippery slope that leads to nowhere
good. We as Americans must learn to be tolerant of each other and the different
beliefs and opinions that we carry. I would love to see the entire world live
with that philosophy but for now, if we can embrace it ourselves, I’ll be more
than happy. You don’t have to agree with what someone says but you should be
able to acknowledge their right to say it. Art is a form of expression and
therefore it must also be protected under that same clause. If you believe that
what I say isn’t worthy of the constitution’s protection because you find it to
be in bad taste, there are plenty of other countries with your beliefs you
could be living in. Agree with me, cool. Disagree with me, cool. Don’t restrict
me. It’s un-American my friend. </span></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-53288200877842606652013-01-03T09:42:00.002-08:002013-01-03T09:49:07.485-08:00The Best of Ronnie James Dio Part II and The Horror Heavies You Need to Know!<span style="font-size: large;">2013 is here and the apocalypse has yet to arrive. Let me tell you now; if the world was going to end the prince of darkness would know about it! Can you imagine the amount of prep that would be required in the underworld for that kind of mass extinction? The gates of Hell would freeze shut like in <i>Little Nicky</i>. Not because anyone was trying to get out but because too many would be coming in. The gatekeeper just isn't capable of handling all those admission forms on his own so I would have to send a couple of my assistant demons to aid him and that would thin out my department, "Soul Reaping." Then my lines would be backed up around the corner and many a sick bastard awaiting eternal punishment would just get to hang out and chew gum until their time arrives (which could be a very long time). Punishment must be immediate! Now that we have that apocalypse stuff out of the way we can get down to the nitty gritty. Today's blog from hell will be a continuation of the "Best of Ronnie James Dio," article I started Sunday and we'll cap it off with a list of "The Horror Heavies You Need to Know." The Dio section will dig into the Black Sabbath years and the horror part will discuss actors, filmmakers, producers, and even musicians that aren't as well know these days. Despite the fact that they aren't as famous as say, Wes Craven, Boris Karloff, Clive Barker, Stephen King, Robert Englund, or Elvira they have done some great spooky work that should be just as lauded.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Without further ado, let's get started!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The Best of Ronnie James Dio Part II: The Black Sabbath Years</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The year was 1978 and all was not well in Rainbow. Ronnie James Dio didn't want to make radio pop rock tunes. He was heavy in the heart and he wanted to rock. Ritchie Blackmore, on the other hand, wanted to pursue the Top 40 audience. He wanted a clean poppy sound and more accessible everyday lyrics dealing with love and partying. He had had hits with his previous band Dee Purple and the songs that seemed to resonate the most with the mainstream crowd were songs like "Smoke on the Water," "Highway Star," and "Hush." "Hush" was a cover tune with a British Invasion Beatles-like sound. "Smoke on the Water" had an addictive chorus. "Highway Star" was about driving. All 3 songs spoke to the everyman. In Rainbow, with Dio, songs were more fantastical. They explored Ronnie's historical, religious, literary, and folk interests. Titles like "Stargazer," "Temple of the King," "Man on the Silver Mountain," "Gates of Babylon," and the like spoke for themselves. As a result of the conflict of musical direction, Ronnie split from Rainbow. Lucky for him, another opportunity was right around the corner. Black Sabbath had also tired of their vocalist though the reasons were more on a professional level. Ozzy Osbourne was notorious for missing gigs, showing up late, and being too high to record or just not showing up for recording sessions. After arranging a meeting they agreed to a jam session. In their first session they gelled so well that they penned "Children of the Sea." Black Sabbath Mach II was on the way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Black Sabbath <i>Heaven and Hell</i>- The first, most well known, and biggest selling of the Dio era Sabbath material, <i>Heaven and Hell</i> was a fresh bombastic 80s metal record. The album kicks off with "Neon Knights," an infectious fast paced rocker, intended as filler. Ultimately it became one of the most revered songs in Sabbath's discography. "Children of the Sea," their first song written together, is a slower paced darker song, but still heavy. "Lady Evil," another Ronnie penned "evil lady" tune about a witch. The title track is a song that Ronnie himself has called his masterpiece on many occasions and it's easy to see why. It's an epic heavy slice of metal with some of the most insightful lyrics Dio ever wrote. "Lonely is the Word" is a personal favorite, with a beautiful layered guitar sound. The rest of the album rocks and rolls in a similar fashion, cementing the new Black Sabbath as a force to be reckoned with.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Black Sabbath <i>Mob Rules</i>- <i>Mob Rules</i> would be the last studio effort with the Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and Vinny Appice lineup for over a decade. I suppose I should mention it is also the first with drummer Vinny Appice. Bill Ward left after the recording of <i>Heaven and Hell </i>to deal with personal issues. Anway, the band became split down the middle with Ronnie/Vinny squaring off against Tony/Geezer. Many explanations have been provided from both camps over the years but at the end of the day everybody seemed to bear some blame. Okay, that was confusing. Let me simplify things. <i>Mob Rules</i> was followed with a live album called <i>Live Evil</i> and it is said that the two sides had different preferred working hours so the mix became quite difficult. Supposedly Tony would mix the guitars high and Ronnie would come in later and turn up the vocals. Years later both proposed the theory that the producer was responsible for all the remixing in an effort to cause "creative tension" within the band. Whatever the cause, the band would split and go their separate ways. Ronnie and Vinny formed "DIO" and Tony recruited a new vocalist and drummer and soldiered on under the Black Sabbath banner. <i>Mob Rules</i>, though an end in 1981 was a hell of a record. The title track was a massive punch in the face and is beloved by legions of fans. Musicians such as Dave Grohl, Tom Morello, and Kirk Windstein have all voiced their love of the track and the album it appears on. A true balls to the wall rock song! "Falling Off the Edge of the World" contains one of the doomiest riffs ever written and "Over and Over" sounds like early 1970s Black Sabbath. "Voodoo" is a mid-paced swampy tune with a lyrical warning and "Sign of the Southern Cross" is as heavy as a dump truck full of iron. "Country Girl" shows off Dio's vocal chops and "E5I50" is an ominous gloomy instrumental.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">3. Black Sabbath <i>Dehumanizer- </i>A short lived reunion with a massive sound, <i>Dehumanizer </i>is one of the heaviest albums in all of Black Sabbath's 42 year career. "Computer God" is a massive smashing opener, "I" is lyrically one of the heaviest songs of all time, and "After All (The Dead)" is as doomy and scary as death itself. "Letters from Earth" shows some heavy bass pounding courtesy of Geezer Butler and "Time Machine" found its way into the hit comedy <i>Wayne's World</i>. "It's Too Late," "Sins of the Father," and "Buried Alive" are grim crashingly heavy rockers and "TV Crimes" is a scathing rip on Televangelists. Black Sabbath Mach II came to a swift end once more after Ronnie James Dio refused to open for Ozzy Osbourne. With good reason, he wasn't willing to sacrifice his dignity to honor a man who had made horrible public statements about him personally and the band as a whole. After all, Ozzy wasn't in Black Sabbath because of his own mistakes and unprofessional behavior. Rob Halford, of Judas Priest, took over for Dio to complete the "Ozzy Osbourne Reunion" tour.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">4. Black Sabbath <i>The Dio Years</i>- In 2006, Rhino Records wanted to put together a compilation album to celebrate the work of Black Sabbath with Ronnie at the mic. They called up Tony Iommi with a request: 2 new songs. After much discussion, Ronnie and Tony sat down to discuss the prospects of recording the new cuts for the compilation. It was as if all their past baggage had been forgotten. They ended up writing 3 new songs. Bill Ward was offered the drum kit as the songs began feeling like a <i>Heaven and</i> <i>Hell</i> reunion but he wasn't comfortable with the material. Vinny returned once more and Geezer signed on as well. They recorded the tracks, released the CD, and after much demand embarked on a small tour in support of the "Best Of." Demand was stronger than anticipated and since things were going so well, they agreed to continue touring. The creativity was flowing, they were getting along famously, and they finally agreed to begin work on a new Black Sabbath record. Only they would call themselves, "Heaven and Hell," as not to confuse anyone with the Ozzy fronted era of the band and the various lineups that had come in between Dio's tenure. It was also widely speculated that since Ozzy Osbourne was a 1/5 shareholder in the band name, he was entitled to profits every time the name was used. Regardless of his status in the band. This is Black Sabbath Mach II, however, and as Ronnie said, "By any other name, it's just Black Sabbath." Oh, by the way, the new songs are top notch. The songs are "The Devil Cried," "Shadow of the Wind," and "Ear in the Wall." A slow tune, a mid-paced cut, and a scorching fast paced rocker. Listening to those songs you would never sense the animosity that existed at the end of their last working relationship. The chemistry was still there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. Heaven and Hell <i>The Devil You Know</i>- <i>The Devil You Know</i> is a phenomenal album. Black Sabbath have long been considered the creators of doom metal and <i>The Devil You Know</i> could hardly be classified as anything else. The album is thick as a ton bricks, bleak, and yet intense. The opening of "Atom and Evil" roars with a massive "boom, boom, boom." The song also shows the band at their most melodic with surprisingly smooth vocal lines. "Fear" rumbles and screams along at a pace that's hard to describe. The general feel is doom. Yet the guitar sometimes lends itself to a power metal type riffing and Ronnie's ominous howls of "Fear...." slide under your skin like a hypodermic needle. The album's first single, "Bible Black," starts off slow but quickly roars into gear. The lyrics are somewhere between religion and a horror movie and lines like, "Here's another spell. It could take me straight to hell. And I feel I'm getting closer to my home," really encapsulate you in the feeling that is "heavy metal." "Double the Pain" has this spring sounding synthetic opening that gives way to pulverizing drums, thudding bass, a fast guitar, and high octane vocalizing. "Rock N' Roll Angel" is melodic but early 70s Black Sabbath in its heaviness. "Turn of the Screw" reminds one of the Henry James novel with the same title, when Dio talks about "Another face at the window. To take me away from you. To a place that I just won't go." "Eating the Cannibals," besides being a really fun title is the fastest song on the album and it rips much like "Ear in the Wall," one of the new tracks recorded for <i>The Dio Years</i>. "Follow the Tears" is so heavy not even the world's strongest man could bench press it. The riffing that opens the song is hard to describe. You just have to hear it. I know that's a cop out description but what are you going to do? "Neverwhere" is just a good hard n' heavy metal song carried at a medium pace and "Breaking into Heaven" closes the record grandly. Unfortunately, <i>The Devil You</i> <i>Know</i> was once more an end for the band. While touring Dio began suffering sharp stomach pains and found himself unable to eat without becoming ill. When the tour in support of the new album concluded, Dio sought the counseling of a physician. After tests were performed the doctor returned with terrible news. Dio was suffering from stomach cancer. He began treatments at the Mayo Clinic in Texas but unfortunately the disease hadn't been found early enough to stop it from spreading to his liver. Dio passed away in May, 2010.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The story of Ronnie James Dio was over but those songs he created will never die. It brings a tear even to my wretched eyes thinking about what the world lost on that morning in May. Dio was a hell of a talent and a good man by all accounts. One has to think what could have been with Heaven and Hell and his solo band. We all wanted new music, we still do. Though that's now an impossibility. The prospect of new music didn't matter though when we found out Dio was sick. We just wanted him to get better because of how much he meant to us. Because he had given us hope and joy. Because he had entertained us for so long and asked for so little.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It is with a heavy heart that I end my assessment of the Dio years of Black Sabbath. Next time I will talk about the DIO band albums. It may be a little easier now, having got the hard part of the Dio story out of the way here, to go back and review those albums. Knowing the DIO band went out on a better note: his return to Black Sabbath. The Best of Ronnie James Dio Part III coming up!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, my list about the "Horror Heavies You Should Know." The men on this list have gained some acclaim deep in the horror fan circle and some have been honored with prestigious awards in their native countries (If they are not American) but they have not, reached the household name status of Stephen King or Tobe Hooper here in the states. I don't want to keep you waiting so here we go:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. Jose Mojica Marins- Mr. Marins is best remembered for his alter ego, Coffin Joe. If you don't know who Coffin Joe is, and I suppose a good sum of you reading may not, look him up now! You will not be disappointed. Coffin Joe is an eccentric black cloaked, top-hatted, evil man with abnormally long fingernails. He sees himself as some kind of supreme intellectual because he mocks religion and superstition and feels that all who participate in the belief of such things are inferiors. He has one lone goal and that is to find the "perfect" female to bear his superior son. This woman would of course be at his intellectual level and laugh in the face of bronze age myth. His quest is a long one and various women are tortured, terrorized, and murdered on his way to find the right one. <i>At Midnight I'll Take</i> <i>Your Soul</i>, Coffin Joe's introduction, is a delicious gothic horror film with a tone not unlike the Universal Haunted house films of the late 1920s and the 1930s. The sequel, <i>This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse</i>, is even better. The low budget limitations of the first film are remedied with a slightly larger budget and the crazed maniacal tortures of Joe are upped to the ceiling. A great highlight is a scene in which Joe has a nightmare about being wrong and immoral. He sees a brightly colored surrealist vision of hell that wakes him from his deep sleep denouncing the tricks his mind plays on him, a sign of repressed doubts. The film ends with the townspeople taking revenge on Joe for all their fallen daughters and chasing him out to the swamp where he supposedly drowns. He returned over 40 years later in <i>Embodiment of Evil</i>, however, and once again, Marins ups the gore content. There are some delightfully twisted scenes in the film but I won't spoil them for you. If I did you might throw up on your keyboard! Oh, an I won't be telling you if Joe finally succeeds in siring his superior spawn either! Jose Mojica Marins is Brazil's premier horror writer/director and his films, all of them not just the Coffin Joe trilogy, warrant a viewing from horror fans everywhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2. Ray Dennis Steckler- Ray Dennis Steckler is one of those guys that has done it all. Actor/writer/producer/director/photographer/pornographer. Yep, there was no end to the man's talents. One day he would be directing hilarious over the top children's films like <i>The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters trilogy</i>, the next one he makes one of the worst horror films of all time with the first monster musical <i>The</i> <i>Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies</i>, followed by a genuine classic like The Thrill Killers, and finally a low rent porno flick. His horror ventures lie in the "so bad they're good" box and still they're plenty worth your time. Let's face it, there are a lot of films out there with greater technical knowhow but will they entertain you on the level of <i>Blood Shack</i>? Not likely. Others worth a peek: <i>Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, Sinthia the Devil's Doll, Body Fever</i>, and <i>The</i> <i>Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. Joe Bob Briggs- Joe Bob isn't a horror guy persay but he's a big fan of horror guys! Joe Bobb Briggs is most likely the single biggest champion horror filmmakers have ever had. Born John Bloom in the rough and rowdy state of Texas, he pursued a career in journalism which allowed him to snag jobs writing columns for various newspapers and magazines. Using his alias, Joe Bob, he wrote witty humorous reviews of horror and exploitation cinema as seen at the local drive-in. The character he developed was a stereotypical redneck, complete with cowboy hat, hairy knuckles, and a penchant for law breaking, beer drinking, and boob grabbing. He's released a couple books compiling his column reviews of classics like <i>Basket Case, Friday the 13th, Incubus, Terminator, Conan the Barbarian, Beastmaster, Phantasm, Death Wish, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I Spit on Your Grave. </i>He's also released a couple books that examine horror and sleaze films from the more academically grounded eyes of John Bloom. Top that off with his hilarious DVD commentaries for should-be Academy Award winners like <i>Samurai Cop, Hell High</i>, and <i>The Double-D Avenger</i> and his late night horror hosting gigs and you've got a real horror everyman.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4. Russ Meyer- Russ Meyer loved the ladies. Especially the ones that could really fill out a wet t-shirt. He started his career as a wartime photographer and thousands of miles away from the nightmares of war he put his talents to work photographing his favorite subject, women's breasts. Without Russ Meyer there would be no nudie film. I bet you're wondering, why the hell am I talking about a guy whose big thing was naked chicks in a horror article? Well, he's crossed over into the horror/exploitation world on a number of occasions and each time he brought his love of knockers with him. Take <i>Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! </i>into consideration. What you get is 3 women with nothing more to do than running around stealing and killing. Varla, the leader of the trio is the most vicious. She breaks a guys back with her foot and leaves him for dead in the desert. But she does it in Russ Meyer style, a tight black shirt showing off massive cleavage. <i>Motorpsycho</i> is about a deranged Vietnam vet who thinks he's still in the Southeast Asian jungle and as a result, kills a number of people without even really stopping to think about it. Meyer's films have garnered a lot of interest in the horror community over the years though, because they play completely against the horror norm. Think about it. One of the great criticisms of slasher films has always been the brutal killing of helpless females. In Russ Meyer's films, the women are the aggressors. They beat, kill, steal, and use sex to get what THEY want. Take that feminists!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. Screaming Lord Sutch- Screaming Lord Sutch was one of the original horror rockers. His horror themed stage show was nowhere near as elaborate as Alice Cooper's and he once confessed that his vocal range was quite limited but he's still very important in the history of horror-themed rock n' roll shows. With novelty tunes like "Murder in the Graveyard," "All Black and Hairy," and the hit "Jack the Ripper," Sutch vocalized gothic horror stories for the Beatles crowd. He dressed in a cape and top hat and often powdered his face in white for an extra ghoulish appearance. In the early 70s he released a more traditional rock record called "Lord Sutch and Heavy Friends," which is often called the worst rock record of the decade. Despite the fact that Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), Jeff Beck, John Bonham (Led Zeppelin), Noel Redding (Jimi Hendrix), and Nicky Hopkins (The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, The Pretty Things) all played on it. Sutch was actively involved in British politics and he even started his own political party, "The Official Monster Raving Loony Party." Despite all his eccentricities and bad reputation as a musician, he made fun rockabilly tunes about vampires, grave diggers, monsters, zombies, and werewolves and he is instrumental in carving a road that Alice Cooper later paved in gold. Sadly he hung himself in the late 1990s after years of suffering from depression.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">6. William Castle- William Castle is one of those guys whose films you know well. In his heyday he was a widely loved producer. Yet these days no one seems to remember just how important he was. <i>House on Haunted Hill, The Tingler, Strait-Jacket, Mr. Sardonicus, 13 Ghosts, I Saw What You Did, Homocidal</i>... What a filmography! Each of his films did well commercially and the biggest reason for that is he was perhaps the greatest promoter in B-movie history. The man practically invented the in-theater gimmick, the 4-D experience. With "Shock seats," audience participation, carboard props given to ticket buyers, and newspaper publicity for things like putting a million dollar life insurance policy on a cockroach from the movie <i>Bug</i>, Castle established himself as the premier movie showman. His influence can be seen to this day with large cardboard cutouts, 3-d models, and life-siz props in movie theaters everywhere. In the horror genre alone, many filmmakers took to his crazy gimmicky approach and in tribute, handed out barf bags, masks, comic books, and cardboard cutouts to patrons coming to see their films.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">7. Mario Bava- Mario Bava was a painter turned filmmaker very popular in his native country of Italy. On this side of the pond, he's best remembered by horror diehards for his revolutionary work in the splatter sub-genre. He never made a movie that was as commercially successful as <i>Jaws</i> or <i>Halloween</i> here in the US of A, but his influence is certainly prevalent within those films. His film <i>I Vampiri</i> is often considered the first Italian horror film and his 1960 masterwork, <i>Black Sunday</i> is one of the most chillingly effective gothic horror films of all time. <i>Blood and Black Lace</i> laid the foundation of the modern slasher film and <i>Twitch of the Death Nerve</i> highlighted graphic violent killings which would become a staple of the slasher picture. Hell, <i>Friday the 13th Part II </i>even borrowed the twin impalement-by-spear kill from the latter film. <i>Danger Diabolik</i> was a clever adaption of the Italian comic book with the same name and <i>The Girl Who Knew too Much</i> is considered by many to be the original Giallo film. The Giallo style was of course popularized by well knowns like Dario Argento, Sergio Martino, and Lucio Fulci. Bava's films were also well revered for their use of color and beautiful photography. Two things horror films have never been known for. This was probably because of his background as a painter and his understanding of the wider color spectrum. He brought an artists' touch to his films. The camera was his palette and the screen his canvas and no one made films as aesthetically pleasing as he did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">8. Terence Fisher- Terence Fisher was an English film director famous for his work with Hammer Horror Studios. His films were essentially gothic horror filmed in color. His adaptions of <i>Dracula</i> and <i>The Mummy</i>, both starring the charismatic deep-voiced Christopher Lee, are considered classics of the traditional gothic horror style. <i>The Curse of Frankenstein, The Revenge of Frankenstein</i>, <i>The Hound of the Baskervilles, The Man Who Could Cheat Death, The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll, The Curse of the</i> <i>Werewolf, The Brides of Dracula, The Phantom of the Opera, The Gorgon, The Earth Dies Screaming</i>, <i>Island of Terror,</i> and <i>The Devil Rides Out</i> are all terrific terror films made in the 1960s and 1970s where traditional horror films upped the onscreen blood and sex was no longer repressed. Fisher's films were classy, gory, and sexy. Directors like Clive Barker, Tim Burton, and Peter Jackson have cited Terence as an important influence on their own creations. Watching a film by any of the aforementioned directors is all the proof you need of that though! Let's just say they've done a terrific job in cementing his horror legacy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">9. Jack Arnold- Jack is another one of those guys whose name you probably don't immediately recognize. But you will certainly recognize his credentials. He's the man behind <i>The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Revenge of the Creature, Tarantula, The Incredible Shrinking Man, It Came from Outer Space</i>, and <i>Monster on the Campus</i>. Outside of horror he made a couple blaxploitation films with Fred Williamson and directed numerous TV shows like <i>Bionic Woman, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch, Mr. Terrific, It Takes a Thief, Rawhide, Peter Gunn, and Perry Mason. </i>In addition to directing some of the greatest horror and Science Fiction films of the 1950s, he's also responsible for spring-boarding the career of a young Clint Eastwood. He worked with Clint in <i>Revenge of the Creature, Tarantula, and Rawhide</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">10. Tom Holland- Tom Holland as a writer and director is responsible for some of the greatest cult films of the 1980s. As a writer he penned the excellent <i>Psycho II</i>, which was way better than it had any right to be, as well as <i>Class of 1984</i> and <i>The Beast Within</i>. As a writer/director he helmed <i>Child's Play</i>, <i>Fright Night</i>, and <i>Thinner. </i>On TV he directed Stephen King's <i>The Langoliers, Masters of Horror: We All Scream for Ice Cream, </i>and 3 episodes of <i>Tales from the Crypt. </i>Certainly a guy whose work is worth looking into.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, that's all for today minions. I shall see you again very soon. It's a little cool in hell today so I got to get my thermostat fixed.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-38118455445559938942012-12-30T21:20:00.001-08:002012-12-30T21:23:13.513-08:00The Best of Ronnie James Dio: Part I<span style="font-size: large;">Without a doubt one of the most recognizable voices in all of heavy metal, Ronnie James Dio rocked and rolled for over 50 years. Dio, standing at only 5'2, possessed the voice of a giant. He was known for his consistently powerful live vocal performances, lyrics dealing with wizards, dragons, swords, and sorcery, his warm accommodating nature toward fans and fellow musicians, and the popularization of the famous "devil horn" hand signal you see flashed at literally every concert. (See example below.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dio tragically passed away, aged 67, in 2010 but his legacy lives on. There are 3 Dio tribute bands on the tour circuit at present. All 3 bands feature previous members of Dio's solo bands as well as other metal musicians that admired the leather-lunged Italian American singer. Numerous bands have done covers of Dio-penned tunes and a few bands are even named after Dio songs. ("Mob Rules" and "Dream Evil" come to mind.) There are also several Dio tribute albums in circulation or atleast songs written as a tribute to Dio. Dio has fronted several bands; Ronnie Dio and the Prophets, Ronnie and the Redcaps, The Electic Elves, Elf, Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, and Heaven and Hell. So one has a very deep well of musical royalty to dive into if you're thinking of checking out the awesomeness that is Ronnie James Dio. A lot of the early singles and vinyl only releases have become very difficult to find and still there's plenty of Dio rocking to be had out there on CD and digital download services like Amazon and i-Tunes. Starting below I'm going to list every studio release from Ronnie James Dio that I have personally collected and give each album the proper look over it deserves. The intention of this article is so that you, the living ones above ground, can get acquainted with his stellar catalogue and pick a couple albums that most interest you and find them! No live albums, just studio cuts. Though I do recommend trying those out too. Remember I am the grand horned one and I demand you listen to Dio or I shall have your soul! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. <b>Elf</b> <i>Elf</i>- Elf, as a band, is not what one would really consider heavy metal. It has more in common with old school rock n' roll and blues rock. My favorite track on the album is "Nevermore," a great track that starts slow but picks up tempo and rocks maybe the hardest of all the tracks on the album. The lyrics have a grim Edgar Allen Poe feel which I suppose is only appropriate since it shares its name with a Poe poem. It also serves as a showcase for Ronnie's stellar vocal range. Other tracks like "I'm Coming Back for You" and "Love Me Like a Woman" really bring the bluesy boogie and highlight the rock n' roll roots of the band. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2. <b>Rainbow</b> <i>Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow</i>- The first Rainbow album also showcases a blues rock sensibility and that's most likely because Elf morphed into Rainbow. You see Ritchie Blackmore discovered Elf when they would open for his band Deep Purple. When he decided to leave Deep Purple after <i>Stormbringer</i> he called them up and asked them to be his new band. And so, Rainbow was born. Despite the blues elements on some songs, the Rainbow debut rocks harder than Elf. "Man on the Silver Mountain" is probably the most famous track from the album and for good reason. It's a powerful vocal performance a great guitar riff and it sticks in your head like peanut butter in the roof of your mouth. "Catch the Rainbow" is a wonderful slow song. Lyrics like, "Life's not a wheel, with chains made of steel. So bless me! Bless me," are easy to sing along with and carry greater meaning than just "boys and girls." Songs like "Black Sheep of the Family" and "Sixteenth Century Greensleeves" carry real groove and "The Temple of the King" lays the template for their second album. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. <b>Rainbow</b> <i>Rising</i>- Rainbow's 2nd album is, to sum it up, the true beginning of power metal. Just one spin and you'll know exactly what I mean. The guitar, bass, drums, and vocals all pack a sonic punch that to this day can still out rock much of what it is played against. It opens roaring with "Tarot Woman" and follows up with the equally stomping "Run with the Wolf." "Starstruck" is one of Dio's famous "evil woman" type songs. "Lady starstruck, she's nothing but bad luck. Lady starstruck running after me. Lady starstruck, she's nothing but bad luck. Bad luck! Bad luck!" "Do You Close Your Eyes" is one of the poppiest cuts ever produced in Dio's tenure in the band and still it roars like no pop song before or after it. "Stargazer" is a 70s metal epic on the same level as "Stairway to Heaven," "July Morning," "Bohemian Rhapsody," and "Child in Time." All the elements of power metal are in play here. Lyrics that reference a wizard, Egyptian history, astrological bodies, and sweeping deserts. Dio roars at the high end of his vocal range and the guitar and bass pounding are unrelenting. Cozy Powell kills on drums as well. "Stargazer" is followed by "A Light in the Black" and there couldn't be a better closer. It is worth mentioning that Ronnie and Ritchie are the only musicians from the first album that play on <i>Rising</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4. <b>Rainbow</b> <i>Long Live Rock N' Roll</i>- Rainbow's 3rd album was the end in ways. After this album the band would reach for a more radio friendly sound and of course, Dio would not be with them. Ronnie packed up his bags and replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath not long after <i>Long Live Rock N' Roll</i>, but he went out with a bang. The album opens with the title track and no one with a love for rock could not like this song. If you don't find yourself headbanging and foot stomping you're dead! "Lady of the Lake" tales of the mythical lake lady responsible for delivering King Arthur's legendary sword Excalibur. "L.A. Connection" is a another rocker but it ditches the sword and sorcery lyrical content for a tale about a broken man who can't get work in Los Angeles because he doesn't have any connections. "Gates of Babylon" is the "Stargazer" of this record and it rips and roars with more killer Ricthie Blackmore riffing and as always, a soaring vocal delivery from Mr. Dio. "Kill the King" is one of the heaviest metal songs of the era and a return to what Ronnie knows best from a lyrical standpoint, the medieval. "The Shed (Subtle)" and "Sensitive to Light" keep it rocking and the album closes with the somber "Rainbow Eyes." A personal favorite. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay tuned for Part 2 when we examine Dio's <span style="font-size: large;">time in Black Sabbath!</span> </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-20340222287149422642012-12-28T12:29:00.004-08:002012-12-28T12:46:44.938-08:00Queens of Darkness<span style="font-size: large;">If there's one thing that gets my cold black heart pumping warm blood it's a good looking horror maiden! With nearly 100 years of full-length horror films to choose from, it's not hard to come up with a long list of horror hotties. But below I shall list only the best of the best. Only those who truly get my bifurcated tongue a wagging. With no further a due, the 25 hottest girls of horror cinema:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. <b>Fay Wray</b>- Fay Wray is without doubt one of the most iconic of all scream queens. Everyone has seen <i>King Kong</i> and everyone remembers that the late Fay Wray was the well-curved blonde-haired object of the great ape's affection. King Kong wasn't her only venture into the world of horror/science fiction. She can also be found in <i>The Vampire Bat</i>, <i>Mystery of the Wax Museum</i>, <i>The Most Dangerous</i> <i>Game, Dr. X, and Black Moon</i>. All great classic thrillers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2. <b>Janet Leigh</b>- Most famous as Norman Bate's shower victim in Alfred Hitchcock's proto-slasher masterpiece <i>Psycho</i>, Janet Leigh is forever etched into the brains of film fans everywhere. In addition to <i>Psycho</i>, she appears in the hilariously over-the-top <i>Night of the Lepus</i> and John Carpenter's <i>The Fog</i>, alongside daughter Jamie Lee Curtis.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. <b>Gloria Stuart- </b>The oldest actress ever nominated for an academy award for her portrayal as the elder Rose in the smash hit <i>Titanic</i>, Gloria Stuart's early career saw her appearing in 2 of the greatest horror films of all time. She acted opposite Ernest Thesiger, Boris Karloff, Charles Laughton, and Melvyn Douglas in <i>The Old Dark House</i>. A year later, in 1933, she played the love interest of Claude Rains in <i>The Invisible Man</i>. The same year she featured in <i>The Kiss Before the Mirror</i>. All 3 films were with <i>Frankenstein</i> director James Whale.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4. <b>Theda Bara</b>- The godmother of goth, Theda Bara was a silent film vixen famous for nakedly trysting with a skeleton in the pre-code <i>A Fool There Was</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. <b>Julie Adams</b>- The lovely Julie Adams is best remembered as the human love interest of the Gill Man in <i>The Creature from the Black Lagoon</i>. She was also well revered at the time for her very desirable legs. Rumor has it, Universal Studios had a special insurance policy on each of them. Outside of the black lagoon, Julie appeared on the <i>Alfred Hitchcock Presents</i> TV series and in the films <i>Black Roses</i>, <i>The Killer Inside Me</i> (1976), and <i>The Psychic Killer</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">6. <b>Evelyn Ankers</b>- Evelyn reportedly was not too enthusiastic about her profession but she was so damn good at it! She appeared alongside Lon Chaney Jr. in 4 classic Universal horror films: <i>The Wolf Man, The Frozen Ghost, The Ghost of Frankenstein,</i> and <i>Son of Dracula</i>. She can also be found in <i>The Invisible Man's Revenge, Jungle Woman, The Mad Ghoul</i>, and <i>Captive Wild Woman</i>. Finally, she did 3 Sherlock Holmes films; <i>The Voice of Terror, Pearl of Death</i>, and the TV short <i>The Adventure of the Speckled Band</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">7. <b>Marisa Mel</b>- Marisa posed for the Italian Playboy and featured in many sexy film roles. Of most interest to genre fans: <i>Danger Diabolik</i>, <i>The Mad Dog Killer, Perversion Story, Ring of Darkness,</i> <i>Obscene Desire, A Diary of A Murderess,</i> and <i>Seven Blood Stained Orchids</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">8. <b>Edwige Fenech</b>- Edwige is a French Italian actress famous for her appearances in Italian "Giallo" films. <i>The Case of the Bloody Iris, Strip Nude for Your Killer, Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only</i> <i>I Have the Key, Island of Terror, Blade of the Ripper</i>, and <i>All the Colors of the Dark</i> all show Edwige in fine form.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">9. <b>Jamie Lee Curtis</b>- Jamie is the daughter of famous scream queen Janet Leigh and a horror icon all her own. Famous for playing Laurie Strode in the original <i>Halloween, Halloween 2, Halloween H20</i>, and <i>Halloween Resurrection</i>, Jamie has done her share of slice and dice horror outside of the Michael Myers cannon. She can also be seen in <i>The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night</i>, and <i>Road Games</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">10. <b>Barbara Steele</b>- A dark haired English beauty, Barbara Steele made a name for herself in Mario Bava's Italian horror masterpiece <i>Black Sunday</i>. She also lent her talents to <i>The Silent Scream, Piranha</i>, <i>Pit and the Pendulum, Shivers, Curse of the Crimson Altar, An Angel for Satan, She Beast, Nightmare</i> <i>Castle, Castle of Blood, The Long Hair of Death, Terror-Creatures from Beyond the Grave, The Ghost, The Horrible Dr. Hichcock</i>, and the 90s revival of the classic gothic soap opera <i>Dark Shadows</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">11. <b>Amy Steel</b>- Amy is one of the most familiar faces of the 80s slasher movie. She is the first gal to survive an encounter with Jason Voorhees in the classic <i>Friday the 13th Part II</i>. She also stars in the original <i>April Fools Day</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">12. <b>Zita Johann</b>- Zita was the dark haired reincarnation of Boris Karloff's long lost love in <i>The</i> <i>Mummy</i>. Historians say she loved the script because she too believed in reincarnation and had more than a passing interest in the occult and metaphysics. She acted in few films but she's worth mentioning for <i>The Mummy</i> alone. More than 50 years later she returned to horror with <i>Raiders of the Living Dead</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">13. <b>Britt Ekland</b>- The beautiful ample-busomed Britt Ekland is a Swedish actress most famous for the James Bond film <i>The Man with the Golden Gun</i>. Look for her in <i>The Wicker Man, Satan's Mistress</i>, <i>The Monster Club</i>, and <i>Asylum</i> to get your horror fix.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">14.<b> Ingrid Pitt</b>- Ingrid is a favorite of Hammer Horror fans. She can be found in <i>Countess Dracula, The</i> <i>Vampire Lovers, The Wicker Man, Sound of Horror</i>, and <i>The House that Dripped Blood</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">15. <b>Jill Schoelen</b>- One of the last great scream queens of the 80s slasher cycle, Jill did her share of classic films. Check out <i>The Stepfather, The Phantom of the Opera (1989), Popcorn, </i>and <i>Cutting Class.</i></span><br />
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16. <b>Caroline Munro</b>- Caroline is another one of those bond girls that also spent some time filming fright flicks. Check her out in <i>Maniac, The Last Horror Film, Slaughter High, Dr. Phibes Rises Again</i>, and <i>Dracula A.D. 1972</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">17.<b> Marilyn Burns</b>- One of the original American slasher queens, Marilyn is most famous for <i>The</i> <i>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</i>. She can also be found in <i>Eaten Alive, Helter Skelter, Future-Kill</i>, and the upcoming <i>Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3-D</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">18. <b>Danielle Harris</b>- Danielle's career in horror began back in 1988 with <i>Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers</i>. She also appeared in the sequel, <i>Halloween 5: Revenge of Michael Myers</i>. Years later, and all grown up, she starred in <i>Rob Zombie's Halloween, Rob Zombie's Halloween II, Hatchet II</i>, <i>Godkiller, Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet, Urban Legend</i>, and <i>Left for Dead</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">19. <b>Linnea Quigley</b>- Best remember as the topless grave dancing punk rocker in <i>Return of the Living</i> <i>Dead</i>, Linnea has had a long career in horror and exploitation. She's also in <i>Creepozoids, Pumpkinhead</i> <i>II: Blood Wings, Night of the Demons, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball</i> <i>Bowl-O-Rama, Silent Night, Deadly Night</i>, and <i>Don't Go Near the Park</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">20. <b>Dee Wallace</b>- A horror and Science Fiction staple; this lovely lady can be seen in <i>Cujo, The Howling, Critters, The Hills Have Eyes, The Stepford Wives</i>, <i>Popcorn,</i> and <i>Alligator II: The Mutation</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">21. <b>Adrienne Barbeau</b>- Adrienne has more than one connection to horror. She starred in <i>Swamp Thing</i>, <i>Creepshow, Escape from New York</i>, and <i>The Fog</i>. Not to mention she was married to and had a son with famous horror maestro<i> </i>John Carpenter. It's not horror but she also voiced Selina Kyle/Catwoman in the 1990s <i>Batman the Animated Series.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">22. <b>Emily Perkins/Katerine Isabelle</b>- The stars of the bloody teen werewolf classic from the land up north, <i>Ginger Snaps</i>, Emily and Katherine are fan favorites. Both returned for <i>Ginger Snaps 2</i>: <i>Unleashed</i>, and <i>Gingersnaps: The Beginning</i>. Both are also in Christopher Nolan's <i>Insomnia</i>. Emily hasn't had a really juicy role in quite a while but Katherine can be seen in <i>Freddy Vs. Jason</i> and <i>American Mary</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">23. <b>Cassandra Peterson</b>- Elvira. Nuff' said!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">24.<b> Vampira</b>- The original wasp-waisted, chesty, black dressed female horror host. She's also famous for the Ed Wood schlock masterpiece <i>Plan 9 from Outer Space</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">25. <b>Ashley Laurence</b>- The adorable Kirsty Cotton in Clive Barker's masterpiece of S&M horror, <i>Hellraiser</i>. She also starred in <i>Hellbound:Hellraiser 2, Hellraiser:Hellseeker, Warlock III:The End of Innocence</i>, and <i>Lurking Fear</i>.</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611729726906724680.post-49731561714198491722012-12-27T11:45:00.001-08:002012-12-27T12:14:31.862-08:00In the beginning there was me! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Y</span><span style="font-size: large;">ou know me by many names! Beelzebub, Lucifer, Abaddon, Apollyon, Leviathan, Belial, Satan; All please me because all make you tremble at the very sound of it sliding off another's tongue! You fear your eternal rest with me, here, in the darkened halls of the damned. Here where you hear screams of pain, smell the rotting burning flesh of the unrighteous, and lavish in sweet agony for time never-ending! Oh Home, who am I kidding, this place rocks. Seriously, everyone knows the bad guys have superior taste and style. Here, at home in hell, the blackened corridors rattle and shake with the sounds of heavy metal! The flames are merely there for aesthetic purposes and the only ones being prodded with pitchforks are politicians, murderers, thieves, and those who bring pain to children. Watching them roast and scream is only part of the entertainment here for the rest of us. We love horror movies and we play all our favorites on big monitors sitting atop pillars made of bones. Each and every day, around midnight, we watch one we've never seen before and then write our own personal reviews on parchments made of human flesh. We eat meat, lots of meat medium rare, as there's no better way to cap off a day of quality head-banging and gore soaked cinematic mayhem than with a slightly bloody iron-rich steak!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I Started this blog to give you, the mortal, a taste of what is to come! To dispel all those nasty rumors about me, "The Lord of Flies." What's the alternative, huh? Golden streets? That's too gaudy for my tastes. We shall pave our streets with black and red, colors endorsed by such personalities as Dracula, The Shadow, and Daredevil (I like his fashion sense by the way)! Do you want to sit on fluffy white balls of gas known as clouds for eternity? Or your own custom throne studded with the eyes of thine enemies! That's what I thought. So, follow me, as I write daily about the entertainment that really matters. Don't fill your head with American Idol, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, or One Direction! Listen to me, the curator of cool. Don't torture your eyes with the endless slew of remakes, rehashes, re-imaginings, teenage musicals, and CGI-laden borefests. Watch what delights I have to recommend you. I have seen these fads come and go over the millennia and I have become wiser for having witnessed their demise. Remember, a good ghoulish pot of horror never loses its furvor and heavy metal will never die!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To start things off, I'm going to give you my best of 2012 lists. Each day after this (if not much is going on in Hell) I will go back to my vaults and review twisted delights from years a go. For now, ponder these lists and await my sinister whispers in your ear. When you hear me you will know I have returned from the terrible depths to command the living to listen and watch as I see fit.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SATAN'S TOP 10 HORRORS OF 2012</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ahhhhhhhhh! 2012 was a bad year for horror. I saw <i>Lovely Molly</i> and checked online for the latest updates on <i>American Mary</i>, the <i>Maniac</i> remake, and <i>The Lords of Salem</i> but it looks like I'll have to wait until the new year to see them in theaters or DVD. Because it was a pretty lackluster year for my favorite genre (Though I'm sure I'm just forgetting about a couple great ones that did come out), I'm going to recommend some old classics to sink your teeth into.</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Tourist Trap</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Brotherhood of Satan</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The Cat and the Canary (1927)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The Gore Gore Girls</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Warlock Moon</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The Mummy (1932)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The House on the Edge of the Park</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Torso</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The Son of Frankenstein</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Phantom of the Paradise</span></li>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, music was another story. There were some tasty tunes this year. I don't think I can lower my list to 10! So instead I'm gonna list 20.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SATAN'S TOP 20 ALBUMS OF 2012</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. <b>Rush</b> <i>Clockwork Angels</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">2<i>. </i><b>Woods of Ypres</b> <i>Woods 5: Grey Skies and Electric Light</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. <b>Candlemass</b> <i>Psalms for the Dead</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">4. <b>Saint Vitus</b> <i>Lillie F-65</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. <b>Huntress</b> <i>Spell Eater</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">6.<b> Prong</b> <i>Carved into Stone</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">7. <b>Municipal Waste</b> <i>The Fatal Feast</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">8. <b>Grand Magus</b> <i>The Hunt</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">9. <b>Orange Goblin</b> <i>A Eulogy for the Damned</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">10. <b>Kiss</b> <i>Monster</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">11. <b>UFO</b> <i>Seven Deadly</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">12.<b> Sigh</b> <i>In Somniphobia</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">13. <b>Kill Devil Hill</b> <i>Kill Devil Hill</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">14. <b>Overkill</b> <i>The Electric Age</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">15. <b>Van Halen</b> <i>A Different Kind of Truth</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">16. <b>Ministry</b> <i>Relapse</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">17. <b>Black Breath</b> <i>Sentenced to Life</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">18. <b>Accept</b> <i>Stalingrad</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">19. <b>Running Wild</b> <i>Shadowmaker</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">20. <b>Demon</b> <i>Unbroken</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">21. <b>Kreator</b> <i>Phantom Antichrist</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">22. <b>Down</b> <i>IV Part 1: The Purple EP</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">23. <b>Dokken</b> <i>Broken Bones</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">24. <b>Tygers of Pan Tang</b> <i>Ambush</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">25. <b>Neurosis</b> <i>Honor Found in Decay</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">26. <b>Sister Sin</b> <i>Now and Forever</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, so I ended up listing more than 20 but they're good. It's hard to decide. What will 2013 sound like? Well there are new releases from <i>Helloween</i>, <i>Deep Purple</i>, <i>Voivod</i>, <i>Krokus</i>, and <i>Cathedral</i> on the horizon we know of. There've also been mentions of new material from <i>King Diamond</i>, <i>Motley Crue</i>, <i>Dream Theater</i>, <i>Trouble</i>, and <i>Anthrax</i>. Last I heard <i>Thin Lizzy</i>, now calling themselves "The Black Star Riders," are in the studio as are <i>Megadeth</i>, <i>Anvil</i>, <i>Saxon</i>, <i>Alice in Chains</i>, <i>Rob Zombie</i>, and <i>Ghost</i>. <i>Tool</i> has hinted at the possibility of new material and <i>Black Sabbath</i> and <i>Judas Priest </i>have been talking new albums for what seems like an eternity now. <i>Motorhead</i> is due for another release if Lemmy's 2-3 year model for new releases remains consistent and <i>Alice Cooper</i> has apparently already been putting together some concepts for a new album, likely to come out at the end of the year or early 2014. This is what I've heard from various news outlets, interviews, and video clips whilst awaiting new souls to enter my dominion. </span></div>
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So long 2012! Burn....<br />
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p.s. This blog is merely intended as humor and information. Don't be a prude. Lighten up. Eat something fried, take in an R-Rated movie, look at a dirty book, say a cuss word out loud, and drive 5 mph over the speed limit for just 30 seconds. You'll be glad you did. </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04472570839186986622noreply@blogger.com1